“Hey, it’s still a Northwestern dorm, isn’t it? We said you have to live on campus for two years, but we never specified which campus.”Read More
“Only time and weekly episodes at 9pm EST will tell Who Will Get Chair, which, as far as Flipside investigators can tell, is the premise of British Chair Show. That, and gratuitous rape scenes that fanboys insist are ‘for the realism.'”
Since I didn’t see my mom’s vaginal canal, I do see the world in a different perspective, and I think that’s why I’m so unique.
“Jesus fucking Christ, please tell me this isn’t happening,” Jason Rothman (WCAS ’19) said as he shook his head in dismay.
“Danger: Live Munitions and the Perfect Facebook Cover Ahead.”
“My voice sounds really decent on an auto-tuned studio recording. Still, the acapella groups won’t accept me, even though at least half of them sound like you’re listening to an Instagram cover of Mariah Carey.”
“As a matter of fact, I actually thought someone had just sent us professional photos of a terminally ill person at first glance. But then, one of our interns played a video Preston sent us of him sitting still for 12 hours and it seemed like the perfect fit. What can I say; the kid’s a natural!”
According to witnesses, Kushberg called for a brief recess in the Passover seder, then grabbed a bowl of bitter herbs from the seder plate, rushed to a dimly lit area behind the temple and took a bitter herb hit of Biblical proportions.
“After this 4/20, Burger King will become Burger Emperor.”