“As a matter of fact, I actually thought someone had just sent us professional photos of a terminally ill person at first glance. But then, one of our interns played a video Preston sent us of him sitting still for 12 hours and it seemed like the perfect fit. What can I say; the kid’s a natural!”
Articles by Alex Spungen
Jones stated that his new downtown Toledo office, conveniently located 15 minutes from his childhood home, will provide “an unparalleled experience in the ever-expanding field of deep fry technology”.
‘He definitely was the breakout performance. They should have given him a bigger role in the movie.’
Bradford has been on the Power-Vaping Club all five years since he arrived at Northwestern back in 2013, redshirting his freshman year after being placed on IR with a lung injury.
“I don’t understand what’s wrong with sitting criss cross apple sauce. It’s really comfortable.”
“Experts say Jones was supplying the MGMT to students via iPod Nanos.”
“I can’t go into specific details about my business operations due to the competitiveness of the market. However, I will say that the demand by clueless freshman for small green-colored herbs was significantly higher yesterday than any other day of the year.”
Party-goers sang “Happy Birthday,” told stories about the puddle, and even ate birthday cake during the splendid celebration.
The 30-year-old nurse at Evanston Hospital who had responded to the patient’s question, described the events as “nothing like I have ever seen before.”
“He proceeded to bend down, removing the goldfish from its bowl, and drop it straight into his mouth.”