“Pizza, on the other hand, is far too vulgar and plebeian a food to satisfy my intellectual desire. “Read More
“Gosh darn” thought WCAS Junior Alberto Munez, as he realized he hadn’t been paying attention to his psychology professors lecture for the past 10 minutes as he pondered his own lonely, miserable existence.
“When I got the email welcoming me into School of Comm, in that very instant, it just hit me. This is it… I can finally break out the beret,” Wayfield stated, fighting back tears.
“I can’t get out of bed in the morning, but you can bet that I’ll have a good time riffing off of that for the Flipside,” said Chen.
A case study on McCormick sophomore, Bobby Majewski, revealed shocking results: Canada Goose coats may warm the body, but they are no match for the cold within his soul.
“Fuck it, I guess my name is Seth now.”
“A glossy poster of the $110 million renovated arena makes my chronic cough entirely worth it,” said Bobb resident Jason McKeen.
The dining hall at Northwestern’s Foster-Walker Complex has delivered once again, this time with a trailblazing vegan option: photosynthesis.
“I thought it would just be a two week affair, but we’re on the verge of a full month now. If this goes longer than 30 days, I don’t know how I’m gonna hold up.”
Look—I’m not usually in favor of violence. However, I’ve been appalled by media attacks on Netflix over their new pricing plan. I have a simple message for my fellow Netflix customers who are considering defecting:…