Tag Archives: Penn State

Willie the Wildcat Gains Freshman 15, Says “It’s All fur”

EVANSTON — Northwestern bloggers took to their Macbooks this week after photos of a noticeably fluffier Willie the Wildcat began circulating after Tuesday night’s marching band practice. While NU’s favorite feline denies he’s gained even a little bit of the freshman 15 during his 79th year at college, sorority member Katie VanHousen of Neva Eta Bagela recently tweeted one of the now infamous photos with the hashtags “#ewwwww,” “#SOGROSS,” and “#totalfatty!” “It’s just FUR!” the embarrassed mascot meowed to a

Fitz Bribes Penn State Coach to Ensure Homecoming Win

EVANSTON—After enduring four grueling consecutive losses, Northwestern students and fans everywhere are finding it difficult to keep their spirits up. However, it was recently discovered that head coach Pat Fitzgerald has offered head coach of Penn State University Joe Paterno an irresistible bribe to secure a win this coming Saturday for the homecoming game. “I offered him season tickets to see us ‘Cats play next year. I figured it was an experience he couldn’t otherwise get and one that most