In Depth: NU Compliments
Czech Republic Sends $2 Billion in Maps as Foreign Aid to Geographically Oblivious U.S.
PRAGUE, CZECH REP. — Czech Prime Minister Petr NeÄŤas announced at a special press conference today that his government has decided to provide $2 billion worth of maps for the tragically geographically challenged U.S. schoolchildren. “We see it as a moral duty to extend a helping hand to countries whose education about the rest of the world has frozen in a woeful state. The least we can do is provide the necessary tools for the poor American kids to at
Alumni Relations to Solicit Freshmen Class Gifts
BREAKING (THIS IS NOT SATIRE): Mayfest Announces Dillo Day Lineup, Jepsen to Headline
Mayfest officially announced the complete lineup for the June 1, 2013 festival after it was accidentally leaked by a member of its executive board. The lineup includes Smash Mouth, Kid Cudi, Ludacris, Hanson, and headliner Carly Rae Jepsen.
Journalism Student on AP Twitter Hack: “Medill F”
A Review of Found: A Restaurant Fit for a Stefon
I just heard about this absolutely fabulous social house (it’s not the same as a restaurant, but I won’t expect you to know the difference) from Stefon called Found. Once he said that it had both fried chicken and caviar on the menu, I knew I would die if I didn’t go there. So, this past weekend, my girlfriends and I decided to head over, and, let me tell you, it was the absolute best culinary experience I’ve had since
That Guy in the Justin Bieber Song to Perform at A&O Ball
EVANSTON — The rapper from the Justin Bieber song “Baby” is officially slated to perform at A&O Ball Saturday. Reports indicate that this is also the same person who made a guest appearance in the Enrique Iglesias song “Tonight I’m Loving You.” Student reaction to the news has been mainly positive with many feeling on top of the world. RTVF freshman and A&O member Carol Lang said, “When I heard, I was like, yeah! The guy featured in that Usher
NU Students “Just Have Too Much Going on Right Now” to Riot
EVANSTON — Northwestern students took to the streets on Thursday after hearing that “Dillo Day,” a cherished drinking and musical school tradition, had been canceled by the City of Evanston. Evanston officials cited the celebration’s notorious reputation for “buffoonery, hooliganism, and excessive levels of smiling,” and added that “New Brunswick had done basically the same thing at Rutgers,” and they certainly weren’t “going to let New Jersey be more civilized.” “OMG Evanston cancelled Dillo?!? Let’s riot! #tisdahlsucks #takebackdillo” tweeted Weinberg
French Journalists Investigated for Topless Middleton Pics: “We Regret Nothing”
Congress Responds to Boston Explosions: “We Need More Bombs”
WASHINGTON — Congress acted quickly following the explosions that claimed three lives and injured many more at the Boston Marathon, resolving that the only way to fight against a bomb threat is for every person to have a bomb themselves. The bill that passed into law easily through both the Senate and the House legalized the possession of bombs by any American citizen over the age of 18. “Bombs don’t kill people, people kill people,” said Senator Ted Cruz (R-Texas). “We need