From the Archives–Op-Ed: Charlie Chaplin should Stick to Silent Movies, Keep his Political Views out of Talkies
This film is his first ātalkieā and boy does he talkie a lot.
Feminist Lit Class Vows to Remove the Word āManā From All Books by 2025
All copies of those volumes too patriarchal to edit will be ceremoniously burned on the Lakefill every Thursday night between now and 2025, along with multiple bras and Josh from the Earth Science department who has manspread on the āLā one too many times.
Scandal Breaks as The Rock Is Discovered To Be A Legacy Student
āThat chunk of sandstone had some powerful friends. Thereās no harm in me meeting with an applicant personally, sharing intimate secrets, exchanging phone numbers, and making secret handshakes. It gives the student no advantages whatsoever.ā
Op-Ed: I’m Finally A ComEd Customer and Now They’re Gone
In all honesty, I donāt know what ComEd is. I think itās something to do with carpentry.
Oopsie Alert! That Self-Deprecating Joke During The Ice Breaker Did NOT Stick The Landing
It seems you have a quarter of minimal eye contact and awkward glances to look forward to.
Wisconsin Dairy Farmers Angered by Trump Administration Support of Turkey, Abandonment of Curds as Favored Protein Source
Already, many curd groups are striking deals with the Russian and Syrian governments to remain competitive, receiving aid in the form of milk pasteurizers and arms shipments.
Plex Out of Dinnerware Again, Encourages Students to Eat on Floor With Their Hands
Blood mixed with yogurt as students clawed and growled at each other over the food Plex employees were dumping directly onto the tile.
“If you can read, you can do research” Posters Around Campus Discriminate Against Illiterates
You know, I can sound out words ācause of English 105, but for some NU students, this poster is like a punch in the balls. Itās not a PC at all, bra.
Pessimistic Student Will Just Occasionally Yell āSafety Schoolā At Visiting Ohio State
With the mighty Ohio State Buckeyes set to visit Northwestern on Friday evening, many students found themselves pessimistic, and in some cases completely resigned to defeat. But for one Medill sophomore, pessimism wasnāt a barrier to doing what she loves: putting down her opponentās intellect. āI know our odds donāt look too great,ā slurred Northwestern University sophomore Joanna Booth, in line outside of the student entrance at Ryan Field. āBut thereās always a solution that makes us look really, really
Students Rejoice! Morty Announces Lakefill 2, Which Finally Connects Us Directly to Gary, Indiana
At long last, once the new Lakefill is constructed, students will be able to easily access Gary, Indiana for a long-overdue new college town experience.