Study: Lakefill Made Entirely of Refuse from Previous Dillo Days
Author Archives: Flippy
Stacey’s Cool Mom Is Gonna Have Fun at Dillo
By Stace’s Mom Guys, have you heard they are making guests under 19 have adult chaperones at Dillo this year? Well, since my daughter Stacey (Stace because weāre besties) is only 17, it looks like Iām back on campus, party people! First and foremost, Iām thinking the gals and meāll start off the day with some dorm āconsumption.ā Obviously totez discrete. Iām willing to supply if Stace will stop telling me that she hates me and to stop wearing her
Reminder: Your Student Group Only Got $20 This Quarter So Mayfest Could Bring Lunice to Campus
SESP Junior to Lose Hope for Humanity after Attending Dillo Day Sober
THE LAKEFILL — At approximately 3:37 PM, June 1 2013, SESP Junior Michelle Cunningham will lose all hope for humanity after making the tragic mistake of attending a Dillo Day performance completely sober. Without the ignorant bliss afforded by alcohol-impaired facilities, Cunningham will be able to accurately perceive the Hieronymus Bosch-styled carnival of nightmares that we affectionately refer to as āMayfest.ā As recently as her 21st birthday celebration last month, Cunningham, who hopes to one day teach middle school English,
Back agin bitjes, DILLOOO
Editor’s note: This article was written by an actual drunk student, and, as such, has been left completely unedited. itss been too long since we’ve published a drink article, (auto-correct) dillo day for reals, typing on my phone. More later. Aaaand some chick is throwing up in the byshes preĀ 11am. Classsss.Ā Some lady just asked me of I could see her flask. I couldn’t. We’re friends now.Ā I forgot to tell you Chet haze grabbed my friends butt true story bro. Gah
Upcoming Univision Breaking Bad Remake Actually a Documentary
“I’m So Pumped for My Class on Ovid’s Metamorphoses!” Says Lonely Classics Major
Aaliyah, Only Woman Willing to Collaborate with Chris Brown, is Dead
If We Canāt Perform the Music of Racists, Shit-Heads, and Degenerates, What’s Left to Perform?
By Professor Donald Nally, Northwestern Conducting and Ensembles As some of you may know, a minor fracas occurred last week in one of my ensembles when a Masters student refused to sing an arrangement of a Walt Whitman poem, as his āindependent researchā had uncovered evidence that Walt Whitman was supposedly racist. This student even went so far as to file a complaint with the NAACP when I refused to let him cherry-pick the repertoire pieces he wanted to sing
Berlusconi’s Convictioni, Ravioli Ravioli Give Me the Formuoli