Rhode Island Governor Lincoln Chafee Decides to Play for the Other Team
Author Archives: Flippy
Michelle Bachmann to Retire Because “Re-election is Gay”
[Roaring ’20s Issue] Area Man Invests in Stock Market, Asks “Wait, Why is this Newsworthy?”
“WHAT DO YOU KNOW THAT WE DON’T?!?” terrified investor screams at reporters
[Roaring ’20s Issue] Prohibition Ends, Evanston Unaffected
Macklemore Would Have Played Dillo Day If We Had Asked
Study: Lakefill Made Entirely of Refuse from Previous Dillo Days
Stacey’s Cool Mom Is Gonna Have Fun at Dillo
By Stace’s Mom Guys, have you heard they are making guests under 19 have adult chaperones at Dillo this year? Well, since my daughter Stacey (Stace because weāre besties) is only 17, it looks like Iām back on campus, party people! First and foremost, Iām thinking the gals and meāll start off the day with some dorm āconsumption.ā Obviously totez discrete. Iām willing to supply if Stace will stop telling me that she hates me and to stop wearing her
Reminder: Your Student Group Only Got $20 This Quarter So Mayfest Could Bring Lunice to Campus
SESP Junior to Lose Hope for Humanity after Attending Dillo Day Sober
THE LAKEFILL — At approximately 3:37 PM, June 1 2013, SESP Junior Michelle Cunningham will lose all hope for humanity after making the tragic mistake of attending a Dillo Day performance completely sober. Without the ignorant bliss afforded by alcohol-impaired facilities, Cunningham will be able to accurately perceive the Hieronymus Bosch-styled carnival of nightmares that we affectionately refer to as āMayfest.ā As recently as her 21st birthday celebration last month, Cunningham, who hopes to one day teach middle school English,
Back agin bitjes, DILLOOO
Editor’s note: This article was written by an actual drunk student, and, as such, has been left completely unedited. itss been too long since we’ve published a drink article, (auto-correct) dillo day for reals, typing on my phone. More later. Aaaand some chick is throwing up in the byshes preĀ 11am. Classsss.Ā Some lady just asked me of I could see her flask. I couldn’t. We’re friends now.Ā I forgot to tell you Chet haze grabbed my friends butt true story bro. Gah