What Do You Think about BJ Novak, A&O’s Winter Speaker?
“BJ…lol.”
Author Archives: Flippy
Rides in Planned Abbottabad Amusement Park Include “Dick Cheney’s Water Board Adventure”
ABBOTTABAD, PAKISTAN — The world was stunned last week when the Pakistani government announced its plans to fund a $30 million amusement park in the small military town where Osama Bin Laden was killed. Yesterday, the Pakistani Department of the Interior released more details about the park, including the park’s main attractions, which are printed below: Osama’s Fun Compound – Combining elements of both carnival fun houses and Halloween haunted houses, visitors will be able to explore a reconstructed version
Harry Potter Cruise Ship Inspires Hunger Games Knock-Off: One Will Survive
Bulgarian Government Collapses; Dozens Dead, Hundreds Still Missing
Class of 2017 Excited to “Hang Out at the Lakefill and Eat Frontera”
THE INTERNET — The Northwestern University Class of 2017 Facebook group saw a three-hundred percent increase in activity this past week when soul-searching accepted student Alyssa Gianonne asked the deep and philosophical question preoccupying every early-decision applicant’s mind: “So what’s everyone, like, MOST excited for next year?” Gianonne commented on her own post thirty seconds later explaining that marching through the historic campus arch, erected in 1993, is something that she predicts will be life changing. Within minutes, Gianonne’s post
Irate David Bowie Demands to Know Why Reporter Wants *HIS* Opinion on Gay Marriage in UK
Boy Scouts to Begrudgingly Allow Gays, But Blacks Are Back Out
Pope Benedict XVI Resigns in Order to Spend More Time with Someone’s Grandchildren
[Nostalgia Issue] Area Cynic Ruins Everything We Used to Like from the 90s
CLEVELAND, OH — An area cynic has managed to ruin everything from our childhood that we ever looked back fondly on. Over the course of one rambling diatribe that the cynic called “a conversation” he proceeded to poke holes in everything we ever cherished. For example, he really hates 90s television shows and has no shame haughtily telling us so. In his words, “TV is lying to you, man. Clarissa never really does explain it all, does she? Also I
Post Office Ends Saturday Mail Delivery; NU Mailrooms Now Only Open Tuesdays 5-7