RA’s “Take One” Condom Box Somehow More Full 4 weeks later
“I guess I just didn’t expect my residents to be that unable to get laid.”
Author Archives: Izzy Killian
Three Undergrads in a Trench Coat Attempt to Walk into Kellogg
“I asked the kid on top why he was nine feet tall,” Marty continued. “He stuttered for a bit before responding that it was some sort of hormonal imbalance. He also kept going on about how he was pursuing a Masters in “Money” in order to support “local businesses” like VibeQuest and The Table.”
Dining Hall Sign Worryingly Deems Bananas Are “Now Spider-Free”
“So what, they were giving us fucking spider-filled bananas this whole time and they’re just NOW telling us? I’m disgusted.”
Couple Clearly Attempting Water Birth In Dorm Shower
The pair, both 19 and Gemini suns, discovered they were expecting after a night of passion on the Bobb-McCulloch lounge couch, and were set on delivering the baby as naturally as possible.
This Day In History: That Time When Your 3rd Grade Teacher Let Josh P. Recalibrate the SMARTBoard Pen
“You know, it was completely unexpected,” said Parks, now 19. “When she called on me to recalibrate, I originally thought she meant the other Josh, Josh M. Never in a million years would I expect to be chosen for such a prestigious responsibility.”