Rhode Island Governor Lincoln Chafee Decides to Play for the Other Team
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PSA: Animals More Savage Than Annoying Drunk People
As a reminder that there are indeed a few creatures more primal than a Tappa Tappa Keg brother 15 shots deep into his senior year Dillo Day, The Flipside‘s investigative team has compiled reports of animals from around the world too savage for even the mud-soaked mosh pit during Wiz Khalifa’s set. The Belarusian Beaver If you think you were ravaged by the 10/200 you received on your last Orgo midterm, think again. On Wednesday, May 29th, 2013, a fisherman
Wal-Mart Fined for Dumping Waste, Actually Just Stocking Shelves
National Spelling Bee Winner Celebrates by Eating Knaidlach
BAYSIDE HILLS, NY — The 13-year-old winner of the Scripps National Spelling Bee, Arvind Mahankali, celebrated his victory by eating a bowl brimming with knaidlach, a type of dumpling eaten mainly during Passover, and the plural version of the Bee’s winning word. “I was so happy when I won,” said Mahankali, a cymotrichous1 boy whose wavy hair has captured the hearts of would-be spellers across the nation. “Knaidel isn’t even that hard a word. Did you know that last year’s
Michelle Bachmann to Retire Because “Re-election is Gay”
[Roaring ’20s Issue] Kresge Hall Unveiled, Hailed as Architectural Marvel
EVANSTON — No, that new monstrosity next to University Hall isn’t a tenement! It’s just Northwestern’s newest building: Kresge Hall. The magnificent structure opened its doors just yesterday, and boy is it a sight to see! Kresge Hall can seat a staggering 1300 students in more than 30 classrooms, but the crowning jewel of this freshly minted structural feat is the architecture. The decision to house the classics department there is manifested in the clear Greco-Roman influence in the building’s
[Roaring ’20s Issue] Fraternity Rum Runners Fall into Lake Michigan, Die of Hypothermia
[Roaring ’20s Issue] Gary Saul Morson to Join USSR Studies Department
EVANSTON — Northwestern University announced yesterday the hiring of a new USSR Studies professor, Gary Saul Morson. “We are pleased to be adding this brilliant, up-and-coming scholar to our faculty team,” said President Walter Dill Scott. Morson, who was born in 1895, received his Ph.D. from Yale last year before, purportedly, teaching in Pennsylvania. Safely within Cook County lines, Morson confessed to The Flipside that his job there was only a cover for his true mission: finding communist spies. “It’s
[Roaring ’20s Issue] Class of 1924 Sets New Diversity Record of 3
[Roaring ’20s Issue] Area Man Invests in Stock Market, Asks “Wait, Why is this Newsworthy?”
“WHAT DO YOU KNOW THAT WE DON’T?!?” terrified investor screams at reporters