Chet Haze: Where Is He Now?
Life without everyone’s favorite rapper, philosopher and Wildcat has left the Northwestern student body struggling to find its way without Chet’s artistic talent and thoughtful Twitter insights.
Category Archives: Entertainment
Fan Attempts to Save Justin Bieber from Dehydration, Discovers Bieber Cannot Catch
This is not the first time Anderson has attempted to protect the singer’s health. Mark Anderson follows all of Bieber’s tours around the world, continuously monitoring Bieber’s hydration levels.
Chief Keef Oversleeps, Misses Deadline for ED Northwestern Application
The rapper had completed his essays for the application a week prior to the deadline, but had refrained from submitting his application until Friday night, as he hoped to perform one final check for incorrect spelling and grammar.
[Tabloid Issue] Career Porn: Steve Carrell Gets to Be in Movies
America’s Nice Guy starred in The Forty-Year Old Virgin and not The Forty-Year Old Porn Star, but there’s no denying that Steve Carell is at the top of his career porn game: his résumé will leave you sobbing and screaming “sweet Jesus” in the middle of the night.
Kanye West to Recruit Interns through Chicago Field Studies
West outlined the positions he was looking to fill in a long series of tweets. “I need interns to drive my Benzes around, even when I am not in them… I need interns to act as food testers… I need interns to feed me grapes while I listen to my own albums…”
Katie Couric Takes Northwestern Tour, Daughter Might Enroll
“Where will we stop next?” Couric tweeted. “I don’t know, but I’m really looking forward to some Edzo’s! #NOM #OSUSucks #alsoWisconsinandMinnesota”
North West Admitted into Northwestern Class of 2035
The offer comes with a full-ride scholarship to Northwestern University, which is projected to charge tuition of over $200,000 a year by the time of West’s possible matriculation in 2031.
Career Porn: How Eminem Makes My Head Spin
There are careers that make you say “oh baby” and “that’s” it and “right there” and “yes yes yessss,” careers that make you reconsider the ethics of cloning and make you sympathize with all perpetrators of identity theft.
Childish Gambino Thrilled to Perform at Chet Haze’s Alma Mater
Demonstrating a strong knowledge of Haze’s discography, Gambino stated that Haze’s debut single “White and Purple” was a musical triumph that inspired the award-winning writer and comedian to focus on his rap career.
Freshman Method Acting Class Disrupts Traffic
Northwestern students and faculty alike were dismayed Wednesday afternoon to discover a barricade made mainly of desks, chairs, stolen bikes, and Norris at Night giveaway water bottles completely blocking Sheridan Road.