Featured | Northwestern Flipside

Category Archives: Featured

UN Peacekeepers Briefed On Disturbing Emergence Of Talitubbies

April 7, 2026 Caroline Altschul Leave a comment

Over the hills and far away, Talitubbies DO NOT come to play. Tinky Winky, Dipsy, maLaalaa and Po are indistinguishable because they are under burkas. Hibatullah Akhundzada rises above the hills of Afghanistan but he’s much scarier than ye ol’ teletubby as he does not have a cute, sexy, raspy British accent. Maybe if he had the accent, shakira law would be more acceptable. Still, hips don’t lie. They are coming for your children. United Nations peacekeepers were reportedly briefed

Read more Articles, Featured, Latest News, No. 430, Year 19

Op-Ed: Social media sucks these days! I miss when there was no toxicity or image-crafting, just a guy on horseback informing you of your son’s gruesome death at Gettysburg

March 13, 2026 Cassandra Brook Leave a comment

We need to return to a simpler, better age: when the only social media was an army officer riding to your farm on horseback to tell you that your son was blown to bits by General Lee’s artillery at Gettysburg.

Read more Featured, No. 424, Opinion, Year 18

From the California Gold Rush (1849): “I Ain’t Sayin She’s a Gold Sifter, Ezekiel, But She Only Wants You for Your Fancy Pantaloons!”

March 12, 2026 Cassandra Brook Leave a comment

I knew from the moment that Mary Elizabeth first laid her greedy eyes on the fake pearl buttons on your trousers in Fort Laramie that a gold-sifter was about to enter our lives. In that moment, she realized she had found her ticket to all the wealth of the west, because she found the kind of buster that would spend a whole half-dollar on some pantaloons.

Read more Articles, Featured, No. 428, Year 18

Perry the Platypus Sees His Shadow, 6 More Weeks of Nefarious Scheming To Come

March 11, 2026 Diego Guerrero Leave a comment

Just earlier this year, the mad man’s antics included creating
a device that would disable all electric vehicle batteries and force commuters to overload
Danville’s poor public transport systems, brainwashing pigeons into stealing people’s jewelry
and bringing it to him, and infecting the city’s water supply with cholera.

Read more Articles, Featured, Latest News, No. 427, Year 18

Millions Realized They Were Deceivemaxxed As Clavicular Forced To Gymcopemax After Being Auramogged While Benchpressing, Cortisol Spiked After Framemogg Nuked By Gymratmoids

March 10, 2026 Diego Guerrero Leave a comment

You can imagine the dismay I felt when I saw Clavicular having to gymcopemax after being auramogged by gymratmoids for only benching 135lbs.

Read more Articles, Entertainment, Featured, Latest News, No. 429, Year 18

El Mencho Killed By Mexican Forces, El Muncho (Me) Next

March 9, 2026 Flippy Leave a comment

You get a little too amorous with somebody in the passenger seat of a 2002 Subaru WRX outside of a Denny’s ONE TIME, and suddenly, it’s all you can ever be known for.

Read more Articles, Featured, Latest News, No. 429, Politics, World, Year 18

From the Archives: Flippy’s Mischievous but Good-Hearted Sidekick, Jumpy, Killed in Firefight with Vietcong Forces Outside Saigon (1968)

February 16, 2026 Diego Guerrero Leave a comment

Flipside can now confirm that Jumpy, Flippy’s mischievous sidekick, was among the 10 Americans killed in the early morning hours of February 3rd, 1968.

Read more Articles, Featured, Latest News, No. 428, Politics, World, Year 18

Cockapoo, Chiweenie, Neapolitan Mastiff, and 5 other dog breeds that double as names for your dih

February 15, 2026 Flippy Leave a comment

Is your dih both classy and girthy? Does it have lots of wrinkles and loose skin? Consider naming it Neopolitan Mastiff!

Read more Articles, Featured, No. 428, Year 18

Booktok’s New Sensation, A Forbidden Romance Between A 6’4 Reformed Playboy ICE Agent And The 4’11 Mixed-Race Honduran Maid He’s Deporting Hits Shelves This Week

February 3, 2026 Flippy Leave a comment

ICED OUT, the newest novel by New York Times Best Selling Author Phoebe Horn, is expected to hit shelves across the nation later this week.

Read more Articles, Entertainment, Featured, Latest News, Nation, No. 426, Year 18

Breaking: Scorned Chicagoans Contemplate Releasing Lil Durk from Prison to Kill Matthew Stafford

January 29, 2026 Jameson Onayo Leave a comment

After the Chicago Bears’ brutal overtime loss to the Los Angeles Rams ruined their chances of advancing into the playoffs, the most diehard Bears fans–many of whom have not felt joy since 1985–concocted a scheme so crazy it might just work. On Monday, January 19th, just one day after the loss, Chicago’s 6th and 16th Wards approved a plan to forcefully facilitate the release of rapper Durk Devontay Banks from prison in exchange for his service in assassinating the Rams’

Read more Articles, Featured, Latest News, Local, No. 424, Year 18

« Older Entries