Freshman Can’t Fall Asleep Without Soft Sounds of Roommate Masturbating
There’s something about it…I guess it soothes me.
Category Archives: Featured
Bienen to Offer Triangle Major
Those who intend to major can delve into classes such as “The Triangle in the Modern Rock Opera,” and “Classical Spanish Triangle Techniques.”
Area Student Not Really Feeling it This Quarter
“I was fine at the beginning, but now I’m just not into it anymore.”
Mayor Tisdahl Asks Students to Quiet Down on Third Down
“Nobody likes a bother”
Student Genuinely Interested in Kareem Abdul-Jabbar’s Faith
“I thought the journey he took to find his faith was simply fascinating”
George R.R. Martin Kills Off Clayton Thorson
Sources are reporting Thorson’s roommate found his body and called the police at approximately 7:35 PM, Thursday evening.
Student Comes Out to Parents As SESP Transfer
With family weekend imminent, former engineer and freshman Cole Thompson finally came out to his parents as an SESP transfer. “I just had to—I couldn’t keep living a lie,” Cole said.
OPINION: Let’s Start a Dialogue
But before we start this dialogue, we should have another dialogue regarding the “ground rules” for this dialogue to ensure that the actual dialogue we have is as fruitless and inoffensive as possible.
Area Student Enlists Dad as Wingman
Faced with the possibility of dragging his loathsome virginity into the third month of college, Thompson requested that when his dad comes for Family Weekend, he brings his game.
Self-Published Author Sells Exactly as Many Copies as He Expected
Self-published author and stay-at-home dad Roger Slate proudly announced this past weekend that his latest novel Long Live Louis King met his lofty goal of selling thirty-five copies.