“She really ate!” SESP sophomore Chi L’Dvour exclaimed. “I mean, I was expecting another sleepy Shanley production, but this Saturday midafternoon was the tastiest time I’ve had in a while!”
“You are what you eat, you know?” says Beremy Injoux.
The location will scrap the popular live-cooking option in favor of an open fish tank, where diners can pick their meal using their bare hands and struggle for food-chain superiority over the gasping animal.
Students seemed really relieved that we only require five rounds of interviews, beating a certain number of other candidates in armed mud-wrestling, and a flawless performance of a blood sacrifice of an orphan.
After drawing lots, the starving group members were forced to kill and eat Samuel Crafice, Donner’s twenty-three–year-old coworker.