Tag Archives: class of 2017

Alumnus Parent Says, “Well, When I Was Here,” For 56th Time During Wildcat Days

EVANSTON — Monday’s visit to campus for prospective student Adam Jarolds was highlighted by the merry musings of his father, Bill, a 1981 NU alumnus. The Grand Rapids, Michigan native spent hours regaling his son with stories of “his glory days” and his antics at “the good ole alma mater.” Between bites of breakfast, Mr. Jarolds recounted several of his college escapades, most notably “the time we lit a piano on fire and pushed it into the lake.” While his

Class of 2017 Excited to “Hang Out at the Lakefill and Eat Frontera”

THE INTERNET — The Northwestern University Class of 2017 Facebook group saw a three-hundred percent increase in activity this past week when soul-searching accepted student Alyssa Gianonne asked the deep and philosophical question preoccupying every early-decision applicant’s mind: “So what’s everyone, like, MOST excited for next year?” Gianonne commented on her own post thirty seconds later explaining that marching through the historic campus arch, erected in 1993, is something that she predicts will be life changing. Within minutes, Gianonne’s post

Denied Early Decision Applicant Demands Racial Quotas Be Reinstated

EVANSTON — Sally Evans, currently a White Anglo-Saxon Protestant senior at Richard B. Russell High School, received a rejection letter from Northwestern after applying early decision. After mulling it over for several weeks, she decided Thursday to take a stand for what is right. “I’m not racist,” the teen said. “I just don’t think it’s fair that I worked so hard and still didn’t get into Northwestern. If the quotas from the ‘60s were still in place, this never would’ve

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