Tag Archives: Safety

SafeRide Driver Purchases Alcohol for Student, Makes Her Wait an Hour to Get It

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EVANSTON – A SafeRide driver was recently arrested for delivering alcohol to a minor. According to court documents, the minor in question placed a call to SafeRide at 9:30 PM, and a driver was dispatched approximately 50 minutes later with spirits in hand. According to university officials, such wait times are not uncommon for students using school resources to get wasted. “SafeRide drivers may take hours to accomplish minutes’ worth of tasks,” Northwestern spokesman Al Cubbage explained, “but when you’re

Read more Local, No. 77

70-Year-Old CSO Successfully Prevents a Crime

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EVANSTON – Jack Weller, a Community Service Officer working the Wednesday-evening night shift in the Foster-Walker lobby, was honored by the Evanston Police Department Tuesday for unprecedented heroics. Weller is now the first CSO in over a decade to actually thwart an ongoing crime, a task that the celebrated hero attributed to “I have no idea how that actually worked.” According to reports filed with the EPD, John Weller was unobtrusively reading at the front desk when he heard shouts

Read more Articles, Local, No. 69

FAA Mandates Sippy Cups on Flights

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WASHINGTON—In response to the false hijacking alarm triggered by a cup of spilled coffee last week, the FAA issued a statement Monday mandating that pilots use sippy cups on all domestic and international flights. “Drinking out of big-boy cups is a privilege, not a right,” commented FAA Administrator, Randy Babbitt. “When our pilots show they have grown up, they can have that privilege back.” Babbitt also announced today that the FAA would be issuing Mickey Mouse and Big Bird cups

Read more Articles, No. 47, Politics

SafeRide Considers Name Change after Three-Fatality Crash

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EVANSTON – In an unprecedented move on Monday, the president of SafeRide announced that the organization was considering a name change after one of its vehicles T-boned a minivan, killing two of its own passengers and the driver of the other car. “Safety obviously isn’t part of our image anymore,” said Michael Grossman, the president of the organization. While numerous apologies and public statements have been made since the accident, this is the first that denotes any change in policy.

Read more Local, No. 44

Band of Lost Boys Discovered in Tech Basement

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EVANSTON—When freshman Conrad Stevens went to his first lab in Tech on Wednesday, he ended up stumbling upon a colony of students living in the halls. “I’d just passed L22 for the fifth goddamn time,” Stevens recounts, “when I saw something move out of the corner of my eye. I could have sworn I heard whispers.” Upon investigation, Stevens realized he had found a small village lining the halls of the A wing basement. “They were all wearing long-sleeved shirts,

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