North By Northwestern Adding New “Racism” Section
Monthly Archives: May 2012
Chet Haze’s Cellphone Dies, Attributed to “Weakness”
Scientists Debate Origins of Obama's Same Sex Marriage Stance
WASHINGTON – President Obama has stated that his views on same sex marriage are “evolving,” culminating in an interview where he announced his support for the practice. The scientific community has since been abuzz looking for theories as to why this transformation occurred. The first main camp contains the gradual evolutionists. Evolutionary Biologist William Smith summarized this position, saying, “Obama has had a long political career and has gradually adapted to a changing environment via natural selection.” He added, “Those
BoxCo Claims Final Unused Box Clip-Art
[Graduation Issue] English Senior Not Sure What to Do with Collection of Penguin Classics Books
“When I first signed up for British Literary Traditions back in freshmen year, I had to get copies of six novels, all published by Penguin,” recalled Lapinski. “When the quarter ended, I realized that these books are timeless classics and totally worth the space under my bed.”
[Graduation Issue] Engineering Senior Leaves Library for the First Time to Graduate
[Graduation Issue] Graduating History Seniors to Open Third Subway in Evanston
[Graduation Issue] All Parents of RTVF Seniors Excited to Have Graduates Return Home
[Graduation Issue] Study: 50% of Graduating Seniors Already Alcoholics
“The real world is gonna hit these poor schmucks like a sack of bricks,” Shamberg noted, sneaking sips from a hip-flask between questions.
[Graduation Issue] Senior Turns in Thesis Statement
“I’m so good at thesises,” said Weinberg Senior Kevin Pandolph. “But I hate writing the rest of the paper. I can’t believe you can get honors just for writing a thesis!”