President Lesmerises, whose scorn for fun was made clear ever since her first order as President to cancel the spring break trip to Punta Cana, announced from her high horse that the plans for the annual Flipside Holiday Party had been cancelled by her and her alone.
Americans woke up with shock to the news that US forces captured NicolƔs Maduro, the President of the South American country of Vulva.
The missile allows for extremely precise targeting, which is crucial where the mission calls only for one or two children on board a school bus to be killed.
Although less catchy than the original, the new lyrics āMy demographicsĀ down, they aināt rebouncinā now, lawmakers frown, askinā, āWhereās each newborn from?āā seemed to instantly capture the attention of the assembly members.
This story will be updated as the hunt for Saddam Husseinās spirit continues.
My Lord, the most gentle Prince of all the realm, spaketh to thy Lord and, upon hearing his reply, made note that we are instructed to hookup in order to save our Kingdoms from the heathen invaders. Thy Lordās message was most clear, our two shires may be separated by many a mile and rivers flowing, and may be bitter foes of ancient times, but we must put aside our respective differences to unite our forces and beat back the
In a disgusting, but also kinda hot, move, Forno Pizza has faced recent backlash amongst Northwestern students after unveiling their new slogan.
Dearest Flippy, It was clear since I got my first pair of cargo pants that cargo beep beep–possibly even vroom vroom, depending on the engine. Traingo pants, naturally, go choo choo. It should be noted, however, that choo choo is only a part of the traingo pants. Traingo pants also chugga chugga, which often precedes the aforementioned choo choo. Boatpants, however, remain a trickier quandary to wrestle with. Boat does not go vroom or choo. Although I should note the
Listen up, Wildcats: after my experiences at Dillo Day, I know that if this campus is known for one thing and one thing only, itās tolerance. But if itās known for two things, the second is finding an excuse to day drink, and as a bear who must answer letters from yāall, Iām a bit experienced when it comes to whistling my blues into a bottle of Jack Danielās.
Noos, who teared up and wistfully looked up at the sky while recounting his experience, said that although he was first nervous when he woke up to see the fellas surrounding him in his bedroom, as soon as they placed their hands on him, he couldnāt bring himself to resist.