Why CTECs Need An “Abysmal Dogshit” Option
Seven paragraphs of a scorned freshman’s unhinged ramblings on their “satan-spawn” Gen Chem Professor can be replaced with two simple words that convey the same thoughts.
Author Archives: Stephen Walsh
My roommate is addicted to “the hub?” Why would anyone jerk off to a GitHub repository?
My roommate recently confided his deepest, darkest secret to me: whenever I’m not in the room, he watches “the Hub” and masturbates.
Inspired by Oklahoma Bible Mandate, Trump’s Department of Education to Require DVD Copy of “Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel” in Every US Classroom
“Leftists have taken over our education system and are teaching our children to hate America!” a Trump administration spokesperson proclaimed to the Flipside in a recent interview. “President Trump’s top priority in education is to bring patriotism, western morality, and the word of the Lord back into the American classroom, and we’ve decided the best way to do that is with the celebrated 2009 film Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel.” The specific movie was chosen because it is “Perhaps
Op-Ed: Look How Quirky I Am, I’m Drinking From a Silly Straw and Speaking in Tongues
“I’m not like other girls” I think to myself as I sip my almond milk latte from my silly straw, listening to the least popular Lana Del Rey songs on Spotify. My laptop is adorned with quotes from shows obscure enough that people are impressed that I know about them, but not so obscure that they can’t recognize them and shower me with praise. And, if that’s not enough, I’m possessed by an ancient Babylonian demon and levitating and speaking in tongues.
To My Teachers: Maybe It’s Good That I’m Not Using My Full Potential
Maybe I’m the only thing that stands between the world and the madness that is me.