Author Archives: Stephen Walsh

Ask Flippy: I (19M) recently saw the last Sarge grilled cheese sandwich (~0.001Unknown) taken by an elderly diabetic woman (104F) and proceeded to fuck her up with my glock (9MM), AITA?

Leave a comment

After long, draining days of blowing off classes and clubs to watch Family Guy Youtube shorts and sleepless nights of blowing off homework to watch Family Guy Youtube shorts, I need a refresher to get me going again, and nothing does it quite like a Sarge dining hall grilled cheese. Something magical is in the air at Sarge (and I’m not talking about zaza) that turns two slices of white bread and kraft cheese into the ambrosia of the gods.

Read more Uncategorized

From an alternate universe where Kanye West stayed sane and won the 2024 election: I really like our new national anthem, Father Stretch my Hands Pt. 1, but do I need to sing the bleached asshole part?

Leave a comment

Like the other 150,000,000 people who voted for him, I’m happy with how Yeezy is running this country. Our economy and military have become harder, better, faster, and stronger in responding to foreign aggression. The brilliant financial strategies of the new Fed Chair Pusha T have stopped inflation and reduced the pre-existing economic conditions that created the infamous Gold Diggers.  However, I can’t ignore the Pablo Bill which has given us a new national anthem–his 2016 hit song, “Father Stretch

Read more Articles, Featured, Latest News, No. 408, Year 18

Tariffs on China see Temu prices skyrocketing to as high as 20 dollars

Leave a comment

Tariffs on China see Temu prices skyrocketing to as high as 20 dollars  By: Stephen Walsh  “I was devastated, absolutely devastated. I thought to myself, ‘It can’t happen here, can it?’ But it can, and it has, and may the Lord have mercy on us all for our transgressions.”  Those are the words of a distraught Scott Smith, a local man whose Temu shopping habits have been deeply impacted by Trump’s trade war with China. As he was checking out

Read more Articles, Featured, No. 408, World, Year 18

Inspired by Oklahoma Bible Mandate, Trump’s Department of Education to Require DVD Copy of “Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel” in Every US Classroom

Leave a comment

“Leftists have taken over our education system and are teaching our children to hate America!” a Trump administration spokesperson proclaimed to the Flipside in a recent interview. “President Trump’s top priority in education is to bring patriotism, western morality, and the word of the Lord back into the American classroom, and we’ve decided the best way to do that is with the celebrated 2009 film Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel.” The specific movie was chosen because it is “Perhaps

Read more Articles, Featured, Latest News, No. 398, Politics, Year 17

Op-Ed: Look How Quirky I Am, I’m Drinking From a Silly Straw and Speaking in Tongues

Leave a comment

“I’m not like other girls” I think to myself as I sip my almond milk latte from my silly straw, listening to the least popular Lana Del Rey songs on Spotify. My laptop is adorned with quotes from shows obscure enough that people are impressed that I know about them, but not so obscure that they can’t recognize them and shower me with praise. And, if that’s not enough, I’m possessed by an ancient Babylonian demon and levitating and speaking in tongues.

Read more Featured, Latest News, Local, No. 397, Year 17