Google+ to Be Renamed “YouTube Troll Registry”
Category Archives: Archives
Preview Classes Only Have Two Midterms
Snapchat Turns Down $3 Billion from Facebook, Offer Went away after Ten Seconds
OPINION: No Shave November a Manifestation of Follicular Privilege
I CAN’T grow a beard, and when I walk down Sheridan, my hairless, female face literally being ASSAULTED by gale force winds, it’s both oppressive and marginalizing to see these fur-faced misogynists gloating in their superiority and facial warmth.
Basketball Coach Chris Collins Inducted into Northwestern Hall of Fame
Tears were shed as the hero of the day approached the microphone for a speech. Patricia Telles-Irvin was spotted comforting Pat Fitzgerald, softly purring, “There, there. Who needs the Big Ten? You got Maine and that was good!”
Joe Biden Extends His Most Sincere Condolences to the Philippians
NU Fashion Magazine Releases Issue of People Who Don’t Take Themselves Too Seriously
Just a bunch of people wearing jeans. Like, normal people.
OPINION: Venric Mark’s Injury Could Derail Northwestern’s Dream Season
A healthy amount of national attention, a near-victory over a national championship contender, and a successful Hail Mary were just a few of the things that have made this season memorable so far. Yet, it could all be in vain due to Venric Mark’s season-ending injury.
Freshman with Hickey Really Impressing Friends
Yo man, that’s totally rad.
Northwestern Successfully Recruits Top Basketball Prospect; World Might End
“Yeah, I can’t say we really understand it,” said Northwestern Men’s basketball head coach Chris Collins, referring to the sudden arrival of the player of his dreams, not the devastating meteorological phenomena currently wracking the globe. “We’re just thrilled to have him.”