No. 63





Yankees Pull Total Dick Move on Red Sox

BOSTON – Major League Baseball’s investigation of the New York Yankees has finally concluded, with the official report ruling that the Bronx Bombers are still total douchebags. This examination came at the request of the…





Anthro Major Studies Northwestern Students Studying

EVANSTON – Weinberg senior Allison Dinker has discovered that Northwestern students are a “disgusting and lazy breed of humans.” The anthropology major is currently writing her dissertation on a culture never before studied academically, NU…