âI will be launching a weekly ceremony to eliminate people from the GroupMe,â wrote Piper in an official press release to the GroupMe. âYou can gain immunity from elimination by doing my laundry or locating a fork during lunchtime in Sargent.â
âWe also prioritize inclusivity. Thatâs why weâre going to offer alternative gluten-free linguine, too.â
“Pizza, on the other hand, is far too vulgar and plebeian a food to satisfy my intellectual desire. “
This report contradicts earlier statements by Hughes himself that he can âabsolutely get itâ on the dance floor
âGosh darnâ thought WCAS Junior Alberto Munez, as he realized he hadnât been paying attention to his psychology professors lecture for the past 10 minutes as he pondered his own lonely, miserable existence.
âFuck it, I guess my name is Seth now.â
âA glossy poster of the $110 million renovated arena makes my chronic cough entirely worth it,â said Bobb resident Jason McKeen.
âBefore I just knew her as âJessica-with-blonde-highlights-from-that-house-with-pink-curtains,â not to be confused with âJessica-with-blonde-highlights-from-the-house-kinda-near-Willard.â”
Norbucks was awash with shock and disgust this week as local dickhead, Derek Havey, touched himself to the image of his overly-colorful and very crowded Google Calendar.
“I give them bonus points if I can see both where the Uber picks them up and drops them off from one spot.â