Shots Fired From 70 Arts Circle Dr. Tragically Miss Local Improv Troupe
After the smoke cleared and adrenaline levels returned to normal, the student body was met with tragic news: the shots had missed the local improv troupes.
Category Archives: Articles
Op-Ed: To The Campus Coyote – Stay Away From Campus…Or Else…You Wouldn’t Want To Deal With Me On A Full Moon…
“So, I heard there was a coyote running around campus the other day, wreaking havoc…heh…pathetic.” *I stand up from my chair, my large black boots hitting the ground. I have on a tight black top with a leather miniskirt and fishnets. I open my emerald green orbs and smile the smile of someone who is the opposite of sane.* “You want to know my name?” I growl. “Since when has any1 wanted 2 know my name?” “Most days, I lurk
Ask Flippy: Do you think Damian Lillard says “It’s Dame Time” before he has sex?
Dear Flippy, After watching Damian Lillard win the NBA All-Star 3-Point Contest for the second straight year, a burning question came over me. He’s always introduced with the phrase, “It’s Dame Time!” and then he points at his wrist accordingly. It’s cool, it’s fun, whatever. But I began to think about its real life applications. I’ve heard that Lillard is as clutch in the sheets as he is on the court. Thus, do you think he says, “It’s Dame Time!”
From The Man Watching You Through Your Kindle: “Ooooooh Yes Roll Over To Your Side”
Kindles have taken the world by storm. Ever since people realized that you can read embarrassing, smutty novels, or memoirs by cancelled celebrities without revealing the cover to strangers, they have been flying off the shelves. But there is a dark side to this beautiful technological innovation that can store up to 6,000 books while being light as a croissant, the man who watches you through your kindle at night and loves when you roll over on your side. One
Putin Responds to Biden’s Murder Allegations by Buying Him
Tension has been brewing between these two leaders for awhile, and not the ideal kind.
Alabama Outlaws Waking Up From A Pregnancy Nightmare: “Ending a Dream Baby’s Life is Punishable by Death”
“The audacity to wake up from a dream in the middle of a baby’s development, well, that is just downright cruel!”Â
First There was Clean Girl, Then Mob Wife, Now Presenting Carpool Mom that Not-So-Secretly Smokes Weed
She always keeps snacks in the center console of her car, never lets the kids have any, and must restock twice a day.
The Little Lesbian from Boygenius cast in “The Sandlot” Reboot following Hiatus
While more recent movies have used digital technology to “de-age” their actors, Coen says that isn’t a worry for his “Sandlot” film. “We actually have to age her more. When we did a costume fitting, she left in the middle of it to go to craft services and security got called four times because they thought she was an unaccompanied minor.”
King Charles III Asks To Simply Go By “Charli3” After Starting “Herb” Treatments For Cancer.
Reports from inside Buckingham Palace reveal other contenders included “His Royal HIGHness,” “Char-Char Binks,” and “Kush Charles.”