Girl Removed from Sorority, Did Not Meet Apparel Quota
Quad-Delt junior faces expulsion from her beloved sisterhood when she can’t meet the requirement of wearing (minimum) four articles of clothing marked with her letters per day.
Category Archives: Articles
FDA’s Proposed Changes to Nutritional Labels Include Graphic Images Illustrating the Effects of Overeating
The images will include pictures of people testing their blood sugar, undergoing open heart surgery, and close-ups of gelatinous rolls of fat. They will appear on foods like sodas, fast food, and everything sold at the Wisconsin State Fair.
The Flipside Presents: Humans of Bobb
The Flipside sent its best photographers to the Bobb-McCulloch Residential Hall in order to catalog the joys, miseries, and ennui of our shared experience. These are the Humans of Bobb.
New Stickers Greatly Decrease Student-Carried Firearms
“Now that I can’t bring my gun to class with me any more, I have to settle for my katana to protect myself from the rampant crime on campus.”
We Will: The Campaign To Spend $3.75 Billion
The Flipside thinks the money can be better spent on biweekly Dillo Days for the next two decades, or a few windows in Blomquist Gymnasium, and maybe another fan or two.
Students Waste All of Reading Week Studying
“I kept telling myself this quarter would be different,” said Dover. “I was going to catch up on the entire third season of Homeland and re-watch Mean Girls twice before finals. But I spent the entire week doing chemistry practice problems.”
The Flipside’s Guide to Finance
These lucrative tips have made our illustrious paper the 10th wealthiest bi-weekly satirical publication on campus, and once you’ve read this article, you’ll have no excuse not to be rich.
John Travolta Leads Northwestern Campus Tour
Travolta pointed out academic buildings such as “Kierkegaard,” “Luddite,” “Annabel,” and, of course, “Trick Inspector.” The hopeful teenagers walked under “The Ache,” observed the beautifully painted “Rob,” and Instagrammed pictures of Chicago from the grassy “Lank Flank.”
PA Group Reunion Dinner About as Awkward as You Would Expect
“I thought this would be a fun way for us to reconnect and catch up!” said Peer Advisor Jeanine Houston, whose outward enthusiasm in no way reflects the horrible sense of clinging despair she feels at the prospect of this idea being an absolute piece of shit.
What Is The Flipside Giving up for Lent?
Attempting to Write Sports Articles: Look, we aren’t athletes. Hell, most of us haven’t even gone to a game this year. But we try our hardest. We like to think that we’re as good at caring about sports as the athletes are at playing them.