Health Center Drops New Fun Fall Condom Flavors
You can really taste the layers. The coolness of the ice cream, the depth of the dough, and the crunch of the apple incites feelings — sexual ones.
Tag Archives: condoms
Freshman Grabs Ambitious Amount of Condoms
“I’m gonna be burnin’ rubber like the Indy 500. This should last me through the end of the quarter.”
Ask Flippy: How Do I Get My Roommate to Stop Throwing Lube at the Back of My Head?
Another option is to start wearing a CRU branded “Abstinence is the One True Way” chastity belt.
Area Virgin Grabs 19 Free Condoms
Losen has reported that since he asked a girl out for coffee on Valentine’s Day, he thought it was important that he was prepared for all possibilities.
Evanston Residents Miss Students, Can’t Wait for Class of 2018
Julie Barrett, 53, feels to be one of the most afflicted, which pushed her to spearhead the “Bring Me Your Stoned and Wasted,” an association of Evanstonites who are missing the smell of fresh yard-puke in the morning.
Library Reduces Non-Book Items Available for Checkout
Library Director Penny Biblia recently announced that the library will no longer be loaning out certain items. The Flipside investigated the items to which students will no longer have complimentary access, and the reasons for the discontinuation of these materials.
Sex Week “Seems a Little Short This Year”
“Because certain major donors left us out in the cold this year, we had to shrink to half staff. However, we know how to use the girth and resources that we have to provide Northwestern with an amazing Sex Week experience.”
Anthro Major Studies Northwestern Students Studying
EVANSTON – Weinberg senior Allison Dinker has discovered that Northwestern students are a “disgusting and lazy breed of humans.” The anthropology major is currently writing her dissertation on a culture never before studied academically, NU students. She is conducting her research at the Northwestern University Library. Dinker began her research last Spring, when she was studying for finals at the library. “I noticed that someone had etched some strange glyphs that spelled ‘ORGO SUX DIX’ into the desk in Study
Sex Week Paves Way for Abortion Month
EVANSTON – Resident sexual deviance advocate J. Michael Bailey was very proud of the student body for touching itself all last week. “Really, I am just so proud that the students of Northwestern could focus a week of their school year on something that I have held so close to my heart for my entire life. It’s a wonder to hear about the young people learning and trying new things, like experimenting with flavored lubricants, studded collars and low-voltage tasers.”