Nate Silver Takes IHOP Server Opening
So far, IHOP executives are “excited to have him aboard” and describe him as doing a very good job.
Tag Archives: election 2016
Trump Generously Offers Clinton the Position of Secretary
The Trump transition team suggested that the job offer was Hillary’s biggest win since the popular vote.
Electoral College Hit with Title IX Violation
The Electoral College has been found to be in violation of several Title IX statutes regarding gender equality.
AP Calls Illinois for Clinton Before Polls Even Open
“It’s the AP’s journalistic duty to report news when it happens or when we make it.”
Joe Biden Found Hiding Candy around West Wing for Next President
Biden explained it is the most important job he’s had as vice president.
Trump Star Smashed Like Trump Smashes Pussy: Without Consent
More and more Americans are becoming convinced that these were less consensual acts on Mr. Trump’s part than they were an unasked-for hammering.
Jill Stein: I Can Say Racist Stuff Too
“I can say racist stuff too. If the American people want me to drop a couple slurs here and there, I’ll gladly do it for the good of America.”
Wolf Blitzer Shouts “Breaking News” Before Taking Shit
Members of his family have repeatedly tried to help Blitzer break his “bad habit,” but all attempts at doing so have been fruitless.
Trump Bumps “Debates” Up List of Democratic Institutions to Destroy
Blaming an unfair system rigged by the nation’s 240-year tradition of majoritarian democracy, Mr. Trump has decided to move “debates” from their current place beneath “taxes.”
Abroad Student Decides Uganda Isn’t So Bad
Sources report that this revelation occurred when he saw Donald Trump insult veterans, Muslims, Republicans, and fucking babies in just the past week.