A Preview of Preview
It’s that time of year once again. Hundreds of t-shirts exhibiting zero graphic design skill will descend on the quad like a swarm of, well, sorority girls, or at least future ones anyway.
Tag Archives: freshmen
The Five Stages of the Freshman Fifteen
You use defense mechanisms like rationalization and the intellectualization that NU students are famous for to convince yourself that it doesn’t matter.
Class of 2018’s Night Out “Wild”
Inside the illicitly-occupied buildings, things were getting a bit crazy. Freshman boys from Bobb pretended to know how to smoke marijuana and only coughed a lot a little.
The Flipside’s Housing Guide: The Southwest Side
Hobart is the 77-time winner of the award for “Most Poorly Named Women’s Residential College.” Really, everyone calls this place Ho-House. But it’s in the sorority quad, so you’re practically a sorority girl, right?
The Flipside’s Housing Guide: South Campus
We’re fully aware that your priority number is shit.
PA Group Reunion Dinner About as Awkward as You Would Expect
“I thought this would be a fun way for us to reconnect and catch up!” said Peer Advisor Jeanine Houston, whose outward enthusiasm in no way reflects the horrible sense of clinging despair she feels at the prospect of this idea being an absolute piece of shit.
SEEN & HEARD: “It’s Going Down” at the Tappa Tappa Keg and Quad Delt Mixer
The new pledge classes get to do everything they were forbidden to talk about during recruitment, i.e. everything that made them want to join Greek life in the first place.
Freshman Starting to Like Eating Lunch Alone, Actually
“When I come in and grab my grilled cheese and look out at all of the people sitting together whom I don’t know,” said Monroe, “I really don’t get that phased. That just means I can text my mom or read the newspaper.”
North West Admitted into Northwestern Class of 2035
The offer comes with a full-ride scholarship to Northwestern University, which is projected to charge tuition of over $200,000 a year by the time of West’s possible matriculation in 2031.
BREAKING: Keys Lost!
“Most of the people helping just scanned the ground, but I went straight for the bushes and got down on all fours, because I’m not afraid to do the hard jobs,” said a student helping search for the missing key.