The Northwestern Alumni Association will hold a “Dinner with 12 Strangers: Industry” in the hopes of connecting students to individuals working in the industries that they are likely to enter into upon graduation.
“We’re not bad people and we didn’t start this,” said a high-ranking Northwestern faculty member who the reporters of 2024 will agree was a bad person who started the scandal.
WASHINGTON – After seeing the Star Wars-like hologram of the late rapper Tupac Shakur at Coachella, Republicans were so enticed by the technology that they decided to purchase their own hologram projector. Republicans are using their new machine in the GOP National Office to project Ronald Regan 24/7. Since last Monday, hologram Reagan has been repeating the phrases “Cut Taxes”, “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!”, and “Trickle-down economics is good economics!” When asked why the GOP made the purchase,
By Dermot Dinklewax Hello, my fellow male and female humanoid creatures. I think it’s time we faced some uncomfortable facts. We were lied to. It is AD 2011 – a year that should only be written in Futura Bold – and yet our automobile transportation remains squarely on the ground. COME ON, guys. It’s the future. Let’s get on that. I want to be chillin’ like Bruce Willis in The 5th Element within the next year, or I’m leaving. I’ll