Tag Archives: Sarah Palin

“Joe the Plumber” Launches Presidential Bid; Rick Perry Still Dumbest GOP Candidate

TOLEDO, OH – Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher, better known as “Joe the Plumber,” unexpectedly announced Thursday his plans to challenge Obama in the 2012 presidential election. John McCain and Sarah Palin used “Joe the Plumber” as a metaphor for the middle class in the 2008 presidential election, so Wurzelbacher already enjoys nationwide name recognition. His platform focuses entirely on bad plumbing puns and one promise: “They’re not going to catch me in a lie.” One political commentator pointed out that an

Congress to Prosecute Preteen Babysitters for Tax Fraud

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Congress passed an unprecedented bill Thursday creating an investigative task force to oversee the nation’s second-largest underground industry: babysitting. Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI), who sponsored the bill, explained that the bill “will not only provide an additional source of revenue for our nearly-broke government, but it will also send a message to Americans: you cannot get away with tax fraud!” The bill targets preteen and teenage babysitters, who every year collect billions of dollars of unreported income.

Palin Memoir to Include Color-By-Numbers, Hidden Pictures

JUNEAU, AK—Former Alaska governor and vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin has finished writing her memoir, Going Rogue: An American Life. Originally slated to be a 400-page chronicle of Palin’s political and personal life, the memoir underwent a complete overhaul of its content and scope, leading to its completion months ahead of schedule. “The initial intent of the memoir was to touch upon Palin’s personal beliefs, family life, and experiences growing up in Alaska and in politics,” said Maria Tonne, a spokesperson

Palin Suffering from Post-Election Tourette’s Syndrome

JUNEAU, AK—Alaska Governor and former Vice-Presidential Candidate Sarah Palin is suffering from Post-Traumatic Election Tourette’s Syndrome, say doctors at Juneau Central Medical Center. The Governor was rushed to the hospital from her hometown of Wasilla on Wednesday, January 28th and has been observation ever since. “I saw her walking down the street, and went over to give her a hello, and all she could say was ‘Maverick maverick 9/11 terrorist Joe sixpack.’ I was so confused,” said Wasilla resident and