A Somali Man to America: “Cheer Up!”

This article was written by Aden Daar, a Somali villager. I was rummaging through the town landfill this morning, looking for some food for today’s meal, when I came across a copy of last week’s New York Times. I saw an article describing how Americans were sad. It said something about rising gas prices, unemployment, a government in disagreement, etc etc etc etc etc. Let me tell you something, America. CHEER UP! Who am I, you might ask, to order

Point-Counterpoint: The Royal Wedding

Why Do Brits Love Their Royal Family? By Andrew Schneider Seems I can’t take three steps these days without someone running their yap about the royal wedding. It could just be that I consider myself a true American, with apple pie in my gut and cholesterol in my veins, but I have a truly difficult time giving any sort of a flying fuck about this wedding. Hell, I can’t even stand weddings for people I know, but for whatever reason

Wide Receiver Brandon Marshall To Be Cut Twice

MIAMI – Star wide receiver Brandon Marshall may be cut twice in the span of a week. The first cut occurred seven days ago when his wife stabbed him in a domestic dispute. Several days after the incident, rumors began circulating that the Miami Dolphins would release him from the team. The move was quite unexpected considering how Marshall had been carving up the opposition last season. “The way he was knifing in between those safeties was downright impressive,” according

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