GREENhouse Shocked to Realize No One Else Cares About Green Cup
āIsnāt this whole thing about reducing energy? Arenāt you still using energy even if you shower at SPAC or charge your laptop at Mudd?ā
Author Archives: Flippy
The Ultimate Midterm Study Guide: NU Edition
Canāt figure out a multiple-choice question that gives 4 possible answers to choose from? Simply cross out the 3 incorrect answers and choose the last answer standing, which has to be the correct response!
āThatā Student Causes TA to Have Mental Breakdown
By week four, Justin was beginning to point out flaws in the grad studentās handwriting.
Gallup Poll Shows Vicious Divide on the Definition of āHooking Upā
āI donāt think sex is necessary for a hookup,ā argued Gender and Sexuality professor Jezebel Ross. āItās got to get to third base though.ā
The Five Stages of the Freshman Fifteen
You use defense mechanisms like rationalization and the intellectualization that NU students are famous for to convince yourself that it doesnāt matter.
Siege of West Fairchild Enters Second Day
“Communications and International Studies were born to be together. I vow to take charge and create a singular, united Fairchild to rule Northwestern!”
Lost Freshman Found, Shown Where Einsteinās Actually Is
ā[Tech] is a maze, man. I didnāt think Iād ever get out,ā he said, still squinting from daylight. āI canāt believe more people havenāt gotten lost trying to find the Einsteinās in here.ā
Northwestern Announces Campus Live-In Requirement for Sophomores: Dormcest Officially 200% More Awkward
“Oh, hi.”
Evanston Amends Highly-Regarded, Life-Saving Fire Code
After reading the dozens of nightmarish police reports, the Evanston City Council decided that action had to be taken in order to guide rebellious college students off of the teetering edge of certain death by raging fires.
Intercampus Extremes: The Trials of a Long Distance Relationship
“Spending all that energy walking is a total waste of 100 calories, especially because my girlfriendās only on the 14-meal-a-week plan.”