After reading the dozens of nightmarish police reports, the Evanston City Council decided that action had to be taken in order to guide rebellious college students off of the teetering edge of certain death by raging fires.
“Spending all that energy walking is a total waste of 100 calories, especially because my girlfriend’s only on the 14-meal-a-week plan.”
“I’ve had Friendsy for one week, and I’ve already had 7 dates, 5 hook ups, and 3 one-night stands”
Not much is known as to why the CEO of Stark Enterprises decided to stop by the law school, but his presence led to numerous speculations among students as to the purpose of his visit.
I personally had to wait to cross a street while his motorcade passed by. I thought pedestrians had the right-of-way, Mr. President.
When indie pop duo MS MR was named, Flipside was excited to learn the truth about the undiscovered artist behind the infamous 2012 hit “Hurricane.”
Holt claimed that it was “just some readings or whatever” but that she “thought it was super fucked-up” that the professor expected her to read 10 pages in one night.
It’s hard to know what to do now. Our figure is gone, our lamp in the darkness of inequality. When Martin Luther King Jr. died, when Malcolm X died, we knew we still had one bastion of justice.
A recent poll revealed that 86% of the student body labeled this year’s Dillo Day changes “inconvenient and unnecessary,” while only 24% of students could recall the names of the artists set to perform.
