Back to Back Topical Pop Culture References Solidify Professor as Cool
“She really connects to the experiences of college-age Gen-Z students like no other 60 year old woman I’ve ever met.”
Author Archives: Enrique Eguiguren
Morty Threatens to Raise Tuition 3.6% for Every Game Basketball Team Loses
Northwestern Students across campus seem to agree that while the punishment is harsh, it’s the only way to get the basketball team to stop losing.
RA Not Here to be the Fun Police
Nunez has been ramping up her efforts to appeal to students in preparation for spring quarter, reportedly concocting a weekly drinking game/kahoot to help bring the students of the dorm together.
Evanston Liquor Store Owner Who Accepts Dining Dollars Becomes 4th Richest Man on Earth
Greg Arridal announced that he was partnering with Morty Shapiro to start accepting Dining Dollars at his store and within the same day, every student had burned through all their dining dollars, and Arridal went out of stock within 3 hours.
Disney eyeing live-action Song of the South remake
Industry insiders speculate that Virginia Governor Ralph Northam is being considered to play the lead role.
State of the Union between Donald and Melania rapidly deteriorating
Melania could not be reached for comment, as she was busy staring out a White House window, her hand pressed against the cold glass, thinking of the days when she was a young girl and had nothing, and how much she took those days for granted.
Op-Ed: No One has Used the Garage to Make an Iron Man Suit Yet and That’s Why We’re Only #10
They’ve only managed to make coffee related businesses, because college students were having problems getting coffee somehow.
Study: 17% of students choose not to drink due to mysterious past
BASICS also disclosed 87% of people who Juul will tell you about it immediately.
Student Misses Crucial Point in Lecture While Wondering if Anyone has Ever Truly Cared for Them
“Gosh darn” thought WCAS Junior Alberto Munez, as he realized he hadn’t been paying attention to his psychology professors lecture for the past 10 minutes as he pondered his own lonely, miserable existence.
First Thanksgiving Without Grandma Goes Off Surprisingly Well
“Mom made the cranberry pie almost as well as Grandma used to, so by next year it won’t even be noticeable.”