Heartbroken and shocked members of the Northwestern community came together last Friday at the Rock to mourn the loss of community fixture Chicken, who was found dead last week in the middle of Sheridan Road.
My name is Joseph “Yellow Journalism” Pulitzer, and you may know me from my work in starting the Spanish-American War, or from my feud with that thieving two-bit “journalist” William Randolph Hearst. In days such as these, in between exaggerating stories to manipulate public opinion and forcing children to wear those cute little newsboy caps and shout “Extra! Extra! Read all about it!”, I find it of the utmost importance to uplift other voices–support small businesses. The world is chaotic,
Honestly, I don’t know what anything you just said is, and you can’t convince me that at least one of those wasn’t made up.
Listen close. Descartes said that thinking makes me am. If true is this… I have question.
I been thinking about what did us in. I was wrong to ask if you’d be cool getting a train run on you by me and my homies—I know that now. I’m sorry, girl. It shoulda just been me and you—head and caboose.I been thinking about what did us in. I was wrong to ask if you’d be cool getting a train run on you by me and my homies—I know that now. I’m sorry, girl. It shoulda just been me and you—head and caboose.
La Racista Chief of Police Trump D. Sucker said of the arrests, “Yeah, it was a massive breakthrough. Massive. Got them Tren de Aruba (sic.) bastards. That’ll teach ‘em to disrupt the supply chain again.”
Firstly, I’ll ask you to remember that there is no truly ethical consumption “content” and that even small creators are still participating in a system that increases the inequality/exploitation that hides this industry from oversight. It suffocates those it takes advantage of who are trying to exact change at the grander level, buried by a number of interconnected goonbait systems.
Did you hear ‘bout Myanmar, girl? 7.7, they said. It made me think of you, girl. Our love, it really shook things up.
Amidst the chaos, and amidst the accession of new president Kyra Lesmerises, the club’s real seat of power–Flipside Vice President and chief eunuch Benjamin Auby–went largely unnoticed.
Well golly-gee-good-morning, world! My name is John J. Johnson, and I have the best life ever!