
Bartenders Everywhere Pour out a Little Grenadine for Shirley Temple

Aiken pounded the competition week after week with top-notch speeches, rallies, and appearances. His opponent was less consistent, having a small number of impressive performances but many that were met with mediocre reviews.
What? You haven’t been speed dating at the Celtic Knot? The Flipside did the dirty so you wouldn’t have to.
Reports indicate that the piece-of-shit individual showed up to the rink alone, put on his very own pair of ritzy, showy ice skates, and proceeded to parade around like a giant pompous asshole.
Athletes like Wilson, however, who are either introverted, in committed relationships back home, or sixteen-year-old figure skating prodigies, are happy to merely get laid a couple dozen times during their trip.
Asked if it was possible the machines were simply malfunctioning, she responded, “Absolutely not. This sort of thing has been happening for years. If it were a service issue, certainly it would have been fixed already, right?”
“I had been planning to slack off the rest of my time here,” said McIntosh. “But when I saw that sign, I realized I need to take responsibility for my own life.”
“I’ve never seen anything like it before. People who have never met before today are all lovey-dovey with each other.”