Dear Flippy, So I recently got arrested for something. Donāt ask me what. Anyways, while I was sitting in the clink, I thought, you know, now would be a great time to reread my pocket Constitution, primarily because I was bored but also because there is a very real possibility I could go to prison. Anyways, when I pulled that Constitution out of my pocket, I saw something that made me think of you, my sweet, sweet bear friend: the
Firstly, Iāll ask you to remember that there is no truly ethical consumption ācontentā and that even small creators are still participating in a system that increases the inequality/exploitation that hides this industry from oversight. It suffocates those it takes advantage of who are trying to exact change at the grander level, buried by a number of interconnected goonbait systems.
I noticed that my professor’s–excuse my French–derriere had grown exponentially in size. His butt, like an atomic bomb, absolutely mushroomed and I was wondering why.
Dear Flippy, Last week I went to the doctor for a long-overdue checkup (Iām United Healthcare and figured they probably wouldnāt want to deny my claim). Overall, Iām in good health! My blood pressure is down to 170/100, and my doctor said my weight is in the 95th percentile for my heightāwhich means lower than 95% of the population. How could he tell Iād been dieting? Thereās just one problem: He said he was worried about my joints. Something about
Dear Flippington, If you havenāt noticed, itās that time of year again. All the high schoolers are lining up like lambs to the slaughter to visit our wonderful campus. But they donāt know the horrors. Those guides wonāt tell them about the last-minute dining hall crowds at 7, they wonāt tell them about the religious zealots on Sheridan that try to trick you into giving them your soul through free coffee, and they sure as hell wonāt tell them that
Iām a little concerned ā how does Santa Claus get into the dorms if they donāt have chimneys?
I feel like Iām lost here. Iāve got a few guesses, like papering might be when two girls lie flat, like paper. And maybe rocking involves a rocking chair? That might explain why my aunt and her roommate like that piece of furniture so much.
Dear Flippy, After watching Damian Lillard win the NBA All-Star 3-Point Contest for the second straight year, a burning question came over me. Heās always introduced with the phrase, āItās Dame Time!ā and then he points at his wrist accordingly. Itās cool, itās fun, whatever. But I began to think about its real life applications. Iāve heard that Lillard is as clutch in the sheets as he is on the court. Thus, do you think he says, āItās Dame Time!ā
I make around 10 Quizlets for every class and according to the company, I am a ātop creator,ā because my sets get upwards of 12 studiers every day. They pay me in motivational quotes and cases of Celsius.
The other night I found that he had painted my wall with dark red symbols. Also, he keeps leaving open food containers in the room.