Freshman With Housing Selection Number 99999999 Ends up With Dorm Room in Qatar
“Hey, it’s still a Northwestern dorm, isn’t it? We said you have to live on campus for two years, but we never specified which campus.”
Category Archives: Featured
Chair Show Very Popular
“Only time and weekly episodes at 9pm EST will tell Who Will Get Chair, which, as far as Flipside investigators can tell, is the premise of British Chair Show. That, and gratuitous rape scenes that fanboys insist are ‘for the realism.'”
Op-Ed: I’m Not Like Most Girls, My Mom Had a C-Section
Since I didn’t see my mom’s vaginal canal, I do see the world in a different perspective, and I think that’s why I’m so unique.
Sunflower Field Full Of WWII Land Mines Kills 50 Photogenic White Girls
“Danger: Live Munitions and the Perfect Facebook Cover Ahead.”
Op-Ed: College is Not Going Like Pitch Perfect Said It Would
“My voice sounds really decent on an auto-tuned studio recording. Still, the acapella groups won’t accept me, even though at least half of them sound like you’re listening to an Instagram cover of Mariah Carey.”
Rabbi Spotted Outside Passover Seder Taking Fat Hit of Bitter Herbs
According to witnesses, Kushberg called for a brief recess in the Passover seder, then grabbed a bowl of bitter herbs from the seder plate, rushed to a dimly lit area behind the temple and took a bitter herb hit of Biblical proportions.
Local Mom Hopes You Had An Egg-cellent Easter
That’s all, yolks!
Burger King To Be Open 25 Hours On 4/20
“After this 4/20, Burger King will become Burger Emperor.”
From the Archives: Ye Olde Candleshoppe in Evanston Doomed Following Implementation of Electric Lighting on NU Campus
Big time investment banker Mr. Maxwell Harrington said, “Fortunately, I can afford to purchase electric lights for my large, impressive house. The poor folk of this town are just going to have to make more money so they can ditch those obsolete candles.”
Joker Origin Movie To Reveal Character’s Age, Real Name, And Pubic Hair Color
Rumors about the film also indicate that the Joker has two moles by his left nipple.