Freshmen Realize School Starts Soon
Lily Sanders noted, “I loved making new friends, learning new things, and having fun during Wildcat Welcome. I’ll never be able to do those things again once classes start.”
Category Archives: Local
God Watches, Horrified, as Cru Member Turns off Another Freshman from Religion Forever
God the Almighty became increasingly agitated as Tolbert entered Anthony’s dorm room, sans invitation, to begin a frank and invasive conversation about Jesus Christ.
RTVF Junior Plans “Parkes and Rec” Video to Help Freshmen Find Obscure Campus Buildings
The video stars Communication seniors Kaylee Hutchinson and Miranda Oates, Weinberg junior Brandon Tchoupitoulas, and Nick Offerman.
Freshman Confident He Has His Schedule Worked Out
“I’ll have 8 AM classes every day, which is good because I like to wake up early and get things done,” said Jenkins. “It worked well in high school so I know I’ll have no trouble getting up early in college.”
The Flipside’s Tips for Northwestern Freshmen: A Response to The Onion
“The Onion’s Tips for College Freshmen” was published to help the class of 2017 seem a little less awkward than the class of 2016 (we have character). However, for the latest litter of Wild Kittens, a lot of this trustworthy advice needs some supplemental information.
Soon-To-Be Roommates Already Confident That They Will Be Best Friends
THE INTERNET — Incoming freshmen Kerry Stahlin and Nicole Silva officially became roommates yesterday. Silva quickly accepted Stahlin’s offer to room together, a product of months of Facebook inbox flirtation. “Kerry is just so me. I feel like I’ve known the girl my entire life,” Silva explained. Although Stahlin and Silva have never met, their online communication clearly conveys that they are an undeniably perfect pair. The relationship began shortly after early decision letters were released. Silva messaged Stahlin in
ASG Thrilled that #ASG is Finally Trending on Twitter
EVANSTON — Due to Tuesday’s MLB All-Star Game, #ASG was a trending tag on Twitter. The Northwestern Associated Student Government said it was the greatest moment – literally the greatest moment, free of any controversy or procedural bickering – in the history of the organization. “We were ecstatic,” said Matthew Silver, ASG’s Vice President of Coincidental Social Media Publicity. “This is the kind of moment that my office, and all of Northwestern, has been waiting for.” The fact that the
Top Sororities Fear Proposed Regulations in Cute Guitar-Playing Boy Market
EVANSTON — Northwestern’s top-tier sororities have made it clear that they strongly oppose the Panhellenic Association’s proposal for the setting of a price ceiling in the cute guitar-playing boy market. The cute guitar-playing boys, referred to as GPBs, face a huge spike in demand during Big/Little Week, during which sororities anonymously shower their new “Littles” with gifts, food, movie parties, and the chance to be serenaded by a GPB in front of other Littles. Sarah Smith, an Economics major and
Students Graffiti Arch, Propose New “Paint the Arch” Tradition
EVANSTON — Earlier this week, students discovered graffiti on the sides of Northwestern’s iconic Arch. The graffiti was written in Chinese, reading “I’m only here since I didn’t get accepted into an Ivy school.” Michael Li, one of the students who saw the message, said, “It was easy to miss since everybody is either texting or pretending to read the flyers on the sidewalk to avoid making eye-contact with anyone, but I looked up at just the right moment and
People’s Gathering Lacks People
EVANSTON — A gathering last Tuesday invited students to congregate in a free-form but intentionally vague way on the lawn that is somewhere kind of near the rock. This event encouraged students to do whatever they felt like doing during this ambiguous gathering of specifically organized use of public space. Hosts felt it was important to send a message to university administrators that our public spaces should be more freely accessible to students by angrily yelling grievances and reading poetry.