Sex Week Comes Early, Organizers Embarrassed
“Frankly, we, the organizers of Sex Week, were just as blindsided as the students. The whole thing just blew up in our face. It was a complete mess.”
Category Archives: Headline
Area Mom to Run Tomorrow
“Running is just one part of it; I’m also going to be eating healthier and keeping a track of my daily activities.”
Curious Sophomore Disappears after Asking to See NU Landscaping Budget
“There’s something huge in those files. Maybe it’s just that the landscaping contractors skim some off the top, but maybe there’s something they don’t want us to know.”
Econ Major Relies on ‘Invisible Hand’ to Choose Apartment
“Given the counterintuitive nature of economic forces—and how they seem to be a reasonable substitute for proactive decision making at the Cato Institute—I’m bound to get a good place.”
Fraternity to Haze with Aggressive Emotional Support
“It’s more devastating than taking shots till we puke.”
Weinberg Junior to Attempt Eighth Different Note-Taking Method
Having already found that his grade decreases as his distance from the lecturer increases, Isaacs hopes to find a similar pattern through his increasingly robust data on what factors correlate most with success.
Diverse Fraternity Gets Second Black Guy
Coming on the heels of Beta Beta Beta’s ground-breaking decision last year to get their first black guy, this diverse fraternity is once again shifting the paradigm of what it means to be inclusive.
Op-Ed: Northwestern Needs to Eliminate the Daily
“I get a lot more of my news from uncomfortable urinal conversations when I decide to pee adjacent to another dude in an empty restroom than I do from the Daily.”
‘Sexy Morty’ Costume Back in Stores This Halloween
The costume has already sold out through online pre orders, but Norris assures that they will restock soon.
Northwestern Student Body Headed Straight to Hell
“I think I saw the mad glint of their god’s eye today. His shriveled white prophet made it explicit when he condemned me to hellfire lest I repent. Those are damn convincing words.”