Listen up, Wildcats: after my experiences at Dillo Day, I know that if this campus is known for one thing and one thing only, itâs tolerance. But if itâs known for two things, the second is finding an excuse to day drink, and as a bear who must answer letters from yâall, Iâm a bit experienced when it comes to whistling my blues into a bottle of Jack Danielâs.
The title says it all.
Noos, who teared up and wistfully looked up at the sky while recounting his experience, said that although he was first nervous when he woke up to see the fellas surrounding him in his bedroom, as soon as they placed their hands on him, he couldnât bring himself to resist.
I mean, come on, it says âScheming Eunuch, weather sorcererâ on his driverâs license.
Hear ye, hear ye, all ye faithful rest thy knees and allow me to spin ye a yarn which ye shanât soon forget.
You think your parentsâ divorce (your fault) was bad? Just you sit your pretty little sweet hottight ass down and wait, because while most divorces can be awfully messy, NOTHING,compares to this, because this nuclear family split in an incredible explosion. Scientists at Los Alamos National Laboratory had been studying the family of Duncan McOkinerand his now ex-wife Sinead (nĂ©e Meadhbh), as well as their two children Martin and Julie, forover two years before their split in an incredible explosion
La Racista Chief of Police Trump D. Sucker said of the arrests, âYeah, it was a massive breakthrough. Massive. Got them Tren de Aruba (sic.) bastards. Thatâll teach âem to disrupt the supply chain again.â
Just the other day, during my 4th out of 6 hours of daily scrolling on twitter I mean X, I saw a troubling video I had not seen in a hot second. It was that video of that fuckass robot arm trying to scoop up a bunch of red goop and failing MISERABLY. I would do way, way better. I thought we invented robots to be good at completing tasks. Take for example, the robots you see when youâre watching
As you, my dear readers, would know, for those performances my father wouldâve shown me ye olâ belt. However, for that last frisbee game, he wouldâve hugged me and that wouldâve fixed me.
Ance had done everything right. He was a top student, president of his frat, secret Trump voter, and LinkedIn Premium user. So where did everything go wrong? He couldnât figure it out; all he could do was cry. Â