Birds Fly Back South
“Northwestern’s birds are some of the best and brightest in the school’s history, and if they’re fed up with the cold, it may be best not to leave your Canada Goose back in Santa Barbara.”
Tag Archives: Bears
Man Who Doesn’t Follow Football Fails to Create Accurate Mock Draft
Walters predicted that the Jaguars would draft an actual jaguar with the third overall pick. “I don’t think there’s a rule football players need to be human. The Jaguars will never lose again with this pick!”
Bears Hire Canadian as Head Coach in Hopes of Missing Playoffs
CHICAGO — A recent change in head coach is the Chicago Bears’ latest step in their journey to become NFL Draft Champions for the fourth consecutive year. Instead of hiring a proven and successful NFL coach like Joe Gibbs or even an extremely successful college football coach like Nick Saban, the Bears decided to change things up by going for a coach from the Mexico of the North, Marc Trestman, head coach of the Montreal Alouettes. When he was introduced
Bears Make Playoffs – Ha! That’s a Good One!
Jay Cutler Now an Aries, Doomed to Lose to Packers
CHICAGO – The Chicago Bears organization announced Tuesday that quarterback Jay Cutler would never again defeat the Green Bay Packers due to the realignment of the zodiac. According to head coach Lovie Smith, team psychic Mademoiselle Estrelanga Strelengelthop completed her analysis of what the stars have in store for the Bears Monday evening, when the alignment of Jupiter and Sirius was conducive to productive astrologizing. The results were not good for Bears fans. “Since we finally realized that the zodiac