Dad Encourages Black Mold Growth in House to Create Dorm Experience for Quarantined Freshman Scheduled to Live in Bobb
“Every day I hose down the walls. Then I turn on the heat on low, so we can marinate in the humidity.”
Tag Archives: dorm
Student Hides Microwave Inside 50-lb Bag of Cocaine for Winter Dorm Inspection
As winter break dorm inspections draw near, Weinberg sophomore Keith Harding announced plans to prevent his RA from confiscating his microwave by burying it inside a 50-lb bag of cocaine. “I really like the convenience of having a microwave in my room, but I’m technically not allowed to keep electrical appliances in here,” said Harding, a frequent re-heater known throughout South Campus as an instant oatmeal plug. “Boy oh boy, this ought to fool them!” Northwestern Residential Services acknowledged to
Tips For A Better Dorm Showering Experience
Shower caddies are overrated. Golf caddies will carry your toiletries with flair, AND they’ll grab you a cocktail from the club’s bar for a tenner.
Bobb to Release “Eau de Bobb” Luxury Fragrance
Local Bobb residents who were given a special look at the fragrance also speak to its exquisite indescribability
Hoverboards, Wheelchairs Banned from Dorms
The decision was made after administrators concluded that any wheeled vehicle would be hazardous to students.
Dorm Groundbreaking Uncovers Graveyard of Student Hopes and Dreams
The contractors in charge of the building project were unaware that they were building over this graveyard, a spot where students have been burying their hopes and dreams since the Cold War.
Freshman’s Room Robbed by New Friends
Before leaving, she informed her floormates that her door was unlocked so they were welcome to go in and get some of her mom’s “famous peanut butter cookies.”
The Flipside’s Housing Guide: The Southwest Side
Hobart is the 77-time winner of the award for “Most Poorly Named Women’s Residential College.” Really, everyone calls this place Ho-House. But it’s in the sorority quad, so you’re practically a sorority girl, right?
The Flipside’s Housing Guide: North Campus
Critics rave about life in Ayers, saying “It really isn’t that bad,” “Save yourself,” and “I want to die.”
[NU Spork] The Spork Guide to Dorm Room Cooking
As much as we all love our delicious Sodexo food served in clean, hygienic Sodexo dining halls, there’s just no substitute for a meal cooked with your own two hands. Unfortunately, because the university doesn’t trust you to not kill yourself with microwaves or hot plates, we here at NU Spork have put together a handy guide to help you prepare food in your dorm room without the pesky constraints of heat sources or proper nutrition. Let’s start with drinks.