Tag Archives: Middle School

[Nostalgia Issue] The Flipside Investigates: No Substitute for Substitutes

EVANSTON — You remember the feeling. You’re waiting for 6th period to start in a post brown-bag lunch haze, wishing only that you didn’t have to endure another science class with Mrs. Stebbins (and that you had more fruit gushers, I mean seriously, there’s only like seven in each bag). You are consumed with this mix of dread and high fructose corn syrup, when suddenly, it happens. A woman you’ve never laid eyes on before enters the room with a

[NU Spork] Restaurant Review: Foster-Walker Complex’s East Dining Hall

By Tommy Schapiro Foster-Walker Complex–East Side: ★ ★ ★ ★ Hi guys! My name is Tommy and I’m so excited to be your Special Middle School Dining Hall Reviewer. A special thanks to The Flipside for doing my homework for me and for the free lunch. I told my Uncle Morty that you guys definitely deserve more money. Anyways, I guess I should start talking about the restaraunt now? Wow, that’s a hard word to spell. Restorant? Restaurant? Got it.

Congress to Prosecute Preteen Babysitters for Tax Fraud

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Congress passed an unprecedented bill Thursday creating an investigative task force to oversee the nation’s second-largest underground industry: babysitting. Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI), who sponsored the bill, explained that the bill “will not only provide an additional source of revenue for our nearly-broke government, but it will also send a message to Americans: you cannot get away with tax fraud!” The bill targets preteen and teenage babysitters, who every year collect billions of dollars of unreported income.

[SEVENTH GRADE ISSUE] An Anthropological Translation of an AIM Conversation

by b4113rh4113r sWeEtIeBABI444: Hey radsportsdude69: hi sWeEtIeBABI444: How’s it going? radsportsdude69: nm u? sWeEtIeBABI444: uhhh… I’m just chillinnnnn :) radsportsdude69: hoo is this? sWeEtIeBABI444: Katie, frm Math radsportsdude69: Oh, hey radsportsdude69: sup? sWeEtIeBABI444: not much. I already asked you that ;) radsportsdude69 : oh yeah lol sWeEtIeBABI444: Wat u up to tonight? radsportsdude69: nm u? sWeEtIeBABI444: lol I’m hanging out with some friends. we jst watched the ring lol radsportsdude69: I kno, shes so hot. I dnt kno y she

[SEVENTH GRADE ISSUE] Long-Term Couple Breaks It Off After Three Weeks

[by Cla4732] EVANSTON – In a breakup that shook Haven Middle School girls’ faith in love and sent shockwaves throughout the seventh grade class, “it” couple Brett Flores and Bianca Tobin have broken off their almost-month-long relationship, the longest Haven’s seventh grade had seen. The breakup came after Brett IMed Bianca “Brett + Bianca = 69”, after which Bianca sent the crushing reply, “we R thru.” Sources close to the couple could confirm that while the couple had yet to