And yes, perhaps you’re just keeping your options open because you “think you can find someone better.” Well, I have a little something to say to you, JESSICA — just because it’s true doesn’t make it hurt any less.
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“It’s the perfect plan, really,” said the IFC president. “There’s nothing frat guys like more than cutthroat competition. I can’t wait to see them tear each other apaaaart …with the goal of increasing female safety on campus of course.”
“These people,” he gestured vaguely around the packed basement, “they just don’t appreciate a good graphic tee.”
White Guy in Your Discussion Section Has Been Playing the Devil’s Advocate for a Little Too Long Now
“Tyler told us that he was going to argue that men were actually wronged by society – like, just for the sake of discussion. Then he started really overusing the word ‘actually.’”
Studies show that this is the 7000thinstance in 2019 of a white man speaking on a topic with irrational confidence despite having little to no knowledge of said topic.
“I will be launching a weekly ceremony to eliminate people from the GroupMe,” wrote Piper in an official press release to the GroupMe. “You can gain immunity from elimination by doing my laundry or locating a fork during lunchtime in Sargent.”
“We also prioritize inclusivity. That’s why we’re going to offer alternative gluten-free linguine, too.”
“Pizza, on the other hand, is far too vulgar and plebeian a food to satisfy my intellectual desire. “
This report contradicts earlier statements by Hughes himself that he can “absolutely get it” on the dance floor
“Gosh darn” thought WCAS Junior Alberto Munez, as he realized he hadn’t been paying attention to his psychology professors lecture for the past 10 minutes as he pondered his own lonely, miserable existence.