REPORT: Grandma Doesn’t Trust “The Asians”
“They’ve got a real shady look about them, you know what I mean? Their eyes are just…” she paused to stretch the skin around her own eyes outwards and demonstrate her point.
“They’ve got a real shady look about them, you know what I mean? Their eyes are just…” she paused to stretch the skin around her own eyes outwards and demonstrate her point.
“What about the boys from that nice Jewish fraternity? You’re mother said some of them were pretty cute, you’d have someone to go to Hillel events with!”
He recalled being assaulted by questions regarding his grades, workload, sleeping and hygiene habits, as well as concerns over getting into a good medical school.
One person’s devout library pilgrimages certainly differ from another’s five-day festival of intoxication.
Throughout Thanksgiving dinner, your uncle repeatedly led the conversation back to your fall quarter hookups, asking questions that nobody at the table wanted to hear.
After years of what Turman’s mother referred to as “boring, missionary sex,” she was finally ready to “take off the mom jeans and put on the edible underwear.”
As she packed her bag to return to her rural Wisconsin home, sources report that she confided to a friend that she “feels insanely stupid” at Northwestern.
“I felt that all the running on the football field and high-fiving everyone in sight was just a bit too childish for me. I believe it’s time to focus on more serious things.”
Social media accounts linked to the terrorist group posted a statement that in part read: “let this attack be a message to all infidels and pre-meds: no GPA is safe from our jihad!”
Following the annual Residential College Board’s Formal held at Chicago’s Children’s Museum, a recent study found that very few of the attendees had pre-gamed the event.