Author Archives: Diego Guerrero

Nuclear Family Splits In Incredible Explosion

Leave a comment

You think your parents’ divorce (your fault) was bad? Just you sit your pretty little sweet hottight ass down and wait, because while most divorces can be awfully messy, NOTHING,compares to this, because this nuclear family split in an incredible explosion. Scientists at Los Alamos National Laboratory had been studying the family of Duncan McOkinerand his now ex-wife Sinead (née Meadhbh), as well as their two children Martin and Julie, forover two years before their split in an incredible explosion

Read more Articles, Featured, Latest News, No. 410, Year 18

My Cat’s Thoughts On New Trump Tariffs: “mrr mrrrr meeoorrr miauuuu miau mrr” 

Leave a comment

The good and honest American people are no stranger to so-called “experts” talking down to them on TV about how to spend their money and why their grocery bills aren’t going down. “Oh, it’s because you’re spending too much on DraftKings, no it’s because America is getting screwed over by its trade partners”. Well, America, here are some thoughts on Trump’s new tariffs from the only economic expert you need, my cat Billibob (AKA: Billi, Hobo Kitty): “mrr mrrrr meeoorrr

Read more Articles, Featured, Latest News, No. 406, Politics, Year 18

Somebody Put Ben Down He’s Drunk On Star Power

Leave a comment

Everybody’s seen somebody go on a power trip before. Police officers when they pull over people, that kid that was supposed to watch over the class while the teacher went out to go use the bathroom, Joseph Stalin, just to name a few. But never before has a power trip been as dangerous as this one, never before has one rush of authority to somebody’s head been as dangerous as this. For God’s sake, somebody put Ben down, he’s drunk

Read more Featured, Headline, Latest News, Local, Nation, No. 402, Politics, World, Year 17

Op-Ed: Scuba Diving is WAY More Exciting than Becoming a Father

Leave a comment

his little, wet, salamander-colored life-form, by his own existence, took from me my passion. My wife made me get rid of the scuba gear, you see; she didn’t want me to “get some awful fucking decompression sickness and have [my] guts pop out through [my] eye sockets” and leave her with our son, William, all alone. William, more like, Will-I-Ever-Be-Free-Again?

Read more Featured, Latest News, No. 402, Year 17

Call Me Crazy, But that UFO Came Down in the Field by my House in 2012 and When the Little Aliens Came Out They Told Me to Shoot John Lennon’s Abused Son Julian Lennon

Leave a comment

Look, man, I admit maybe I shouldn’t have drunk that whole bowl of ayahuasca brew that uncontacted tribe in Paraguay sent me, but I swear to you I’m not messing around here. Call me crazy if you want, but that UFO came down in the field by my house in 2012 and when the little aliens came out they told me to shoot John Lennon’s abused son, Julian Lennon.

Read more Featured, Latest News, No. 401, Year 17
« Older Entries Recent Entries »