Tebow Turns Water into Gatorade
Category Archives: Archives
Paula Deen Launches “It Gets Butter” Campaign
McGraw-Hill Thwarts Resellers with New “Self-Immolating” Textbooks
Katy Perry Single; Male Suicide Rate Drops to Zero
Bears Make Playoffs – Ha! That’s a Good One!
NU Freshman Takes Wrong Shuttle Home, Ends Up In Qatar
Pacific Ocean Invades North Korea, Kim Jong Il Threatens Nuclear Force
NORTH KOREA- On November 23rd, the nation of North Korea was nearly engulfed by the Pacific Ocean, becoming the most recent victim to rising sea levels this year. While most scientists have attributed this natural occurrence to melting ice caps and global warming, North Korean leader Kim Jong Il begged to differ, stating that he “often looks at the water, among many other things” and “had known for months that the Ocean was preparing to invade”. Fearing the Pacific Ocean
Man Gratifies Self In Shower After Fulfilling Workout
The witness told The Flipside that “every time we tried to talk him down, he just kept stroking his ego more and more.”
Pat Fitzgerald Arrested for Acts of Humanitarianism
“[T]he legacy of Northwestern football will no longer be defined by mediocre success but rather by the monstrosities of one man’s actions.”
Northwestern Unveils New Meme Studies Major
EVANSTON – In a move to appeal to an increasingly Internet-centric youth, Northwestern University will be offering a major in Meme Studies, Assistant Dean for Curriculum Joan Linsenmeier announced yesterday. Northwestern will become the first major university to offer a degree in the up-and-coming science of Internet memes. This announcement comes in response to years of student petitions for the university to offer a full major in studying Internet memes – which, for those uninitiated in Internet culture, is defined