Ode on the 10:34 Shuttle
What drunken tales haunt thy seats
Of poorly conceived mixer themes
and awkward hookups, or of both,
In Allison or the frat house?
What men or frat stars are these? What maidens put out?
Category Archives: Entertainment
A Personal Appeal from Ted Mosby
That line about me staying by her side when she got sick? That was just a little white lie. I was sitting at my desk telling Luke and Penny about Lily and Barney not having sex when they called to tell me she kicked the bucket.
John Travolta Leads Northwestern Campus Tour
Travolta pointed out academic buildings such as “Kierkegaard,” “Luddite,” “Annabel,” and, of course, “Trick Inspector.” The hopeful teenagers walked under “The Ache,” observed the beautifully painted “Rob,” and Instagrammed pictures of Chicago from the grassy “Lank Flank.”
Pre-Law Student Sneaks into Suits Event with Backpack Full of Weed “Hoping for the Best”
Clay Aiken’s Political Career Ended as Opponent Studdard Has Last Minute Surge
Aiken pounded the competition week after week with top-notch speeches, rallies, and appearances. His opponent was less consistent, having a small number of impressive performances but many that were met with mediocre reviews.
Opinion: Don’t Deport Justin Bieber, Canada Still Has Hope
Keep the issue contained and save the Canadian youth. It’s too late for our own.
Rowling Pens Final Installment: Harry Potter and the Custody Feud
And you thought “all was well” meant happily ever after.
Bieber Facing Deportation; Tweens Advocate Immigration Reform
“It’s unfair that hardworking people are denied the right to stay here and help our nation,” said Jennifer Jones, a self-proclaimed diehard Belieber. “Justin Bieber came here to live the American Dream. Why should our country deny him that right?”
Public Outraged That Louisiana Hillbilly Has Negative Views Towards Gays; Robertson’s Feelings Hurt
“I’m baffled why Mr. Robertson never bothered to explore the different communities that surely exist in West Monroe,” remarked UCLA sophomore Quincy LaFleur of San Francisco.
The Flipside Movie Review: Frozen and The Wolf of Wall Street
Both boast a strong cast, an amazing soundtrack, and a whole lot of snow, but we strongly urge all moviegoers to think twice before bringing their children to Frozen.