Area Dad Hits on Daughter at Homecoming Party
Northwestern Alumni and Father Brett Connors, 52, was caught drunkenly hitting on his daughter at a homecoming party this weekend.
Category Archives: Featured
Fitz to Ride Live Wildcat in Homecoming Parade
“A clerical error was made, causing too many people to be assigned to the main parade convertible. Someone needed to be removed. Considering last week’s result against Michigan, Fitz was the obvious choice.”
Freshman Thinks Bobb’s Full Name Is Robert
Sources indicate that although he had originally thought it was just named Bobb, he used the critical thinking skills that reportedly got him into Northwestern to deduce the dorm’s official name.
Philanthropy Chair Just Likes Pretending She Matters
I’m not sure she even knows which foundations we’re supporting.
Charli XCX, Miguel Confirmed for A&O Blowout
Tickets for Blowout will be available at the Norris Box Office beginning on Tuesday, Oct. 13th
Fitz Runs Out of Virgins to Sacrifice
Coach Fitz allegedly sacrificed his last virgin during the Minnesota game.
BREAKING: Couple Upstairs Really Going At It Right Now
Reports from Allison Hall coming in just moments ago indicate that a couple upstairs is, in fact, really going at it right now.
Biker Really Didn’t See You There
An area biker apologized today, confessing that he really didn’t see you there. This apology follows a near-collision that occurred on the sidewalk in front of the Jacobs Center.
Psych 101 Study Participation to Include 10 Hours of Physical Labor
“To really take advantage of this participant pool, we need a dedication to improving our university – in the form of free labor.”
Roommate Actually Does Care If You Hit the Lights
“Every night, he asks so innocently if he can hit the lights, and every night, I casually say it’s okay. But deep down, I actually do care.”