BREAKING: Caitlyn Jenner Just Sneezed
Following her famous photoshoot for Vanity Fair, media sources have confirmed that Caitlyn Jenner has indeed just sneezed.
Category Archives: Featured
Study: Your Ancestors Are Disappointed in You
Using ground penetrating radar, sensitive seismographic instruments, and a Ouija board, archivist Louis Diggs of the University of Your Hometown has confirmed that your ancestors are indeed rolling in their graves.
School of Comm Announces Passive Aggression Major
This past weekend, we received reports confirming that the School of Communication will be adding a new major for the 2015-2016 school year. For the first time, students will be able to major in Passive Aggression.
High School Student Thought Dillo Was Better Last Year
After the last act for Dillo day was announced earlier this week, Evanston Township High School junior Erik Swanson reported that he thought the lineup was much better last year.
Uncovered: Local Illicit Magazine Delivery Service
To see a menu, which consists of one seasonal offering, new customers must supply referrals from two people already using the service.
Student Registers Your Mom as Dillo Day Guest
This morning Mayfest confirmed early reports that Amon Littleton, WCAS ’18, has registered your mother as his guest for Dillo Day on May 30th.
Smart Dillo Only Gets 28 on ACT
According to initial estimates, this places Smart Dillo into the 58th percentile among armadillos nationwide.
Student Lists 19 Likely Places He Lost his Keys
The freshman disclosed that his keys and wallet could also be at the Hooters in Peoria; or in Tashkent, Uzbekistan; or in the third stall from the left in the Norris ground floor bathroom.
Student Decides to Sell Wristband A$AP
The student initially thought that Mayfest was using a code to announce the artist, and through conjecture had determined the artist to be featured was most likely to be Fergie or Lorde in a Trap.
Razor Scooter Epidemic Hits Northwestern
The infection soon spread all over campus, and latest reports indicate that up to fifty students could be afflicted.