Letter from ASG Regarding Cinco de Mayo
Every year, our campus suffers from some form of culturally offensive activity that isolates many people, sometimes entire communities.
Category Archives: Local
What Tour Guides Don’t Say: Student Groups and DTC
I forgot to mention that you may or may not have to apply to get into nearly every club, and it’s pretty competitive. But then again, so is admission to Northwestern, and you’re here, right?
Guy at Omelet Station Really Not Fucking around with His Order
In a voice as frigid and unwavering as a February breeze off Lake Michigan the young man declared, “Make it with egg whites.”
New Restaurant, “Just Yogurt,” Touts Its Use of All-Natural Bacteria
“Just Yogurt is a great example of how businesses can practice sustainable bacterial processes and satisfy their customers’ needs.”
STUDY: All Your Friends Are out of Class for the Summer
Your friend went on to describe, in detail, the number of “baes” who have descended upon your hometown, eager to indulge in alcohol and sexual relations. He indicated that he is taking full advantage of the opportunities.
What Tour Guides Don’t Say: Dining and Housing
Taste? Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Honestly, when you’re busy cramming for four midterms, the way your food tastes is the least of your concerns.
New ASG Secret Police to Protect Senators from Peer Pressure
Modeled after the historically sophisticated state security agencies in the Soviet bloc, the agency will focus on counterintelligence operations with a heavy focus on sabotage of political dissidence.
Freshman’s Sentence to 30 Days in Plex Sparks Human Rights Controversy
George Davis of the newly-created Office of Creative Disciplinary Action said the university was getting a lot of pushback from peer institutions but decided to proceed regardless, as “the little shits started drinking fancier booze than I do.”
Northwestern Flipside Presents: First Kiss
We asked six strangers to come in for a first kiss… [dciframe]http://player.vimeo.com/video/92191356,100%,500,0,auto[/dciframe]
Student Puts Zero Effort into Term Paper Proposal, Hopes Trilateral Commission Is Interesting
After completing his cursory research, Simonides wrote his 200-word proposal in a matter of minutes and rewarded himself for his diligent efforts with four hours of Netflix and video games.