A recent study by the Northwestern University Department of Classics shows that everyone but you is rushing. The study reveals that all of your friends are currently planning on joining a Fraternity or Sorority.
Coach Collins has been quoted saying we could make the NCAA Tournament this year, but it’s not like you pay attention to the best men’s basketball coach Northwestern has ever employed.
The RHA stressed that the beloved periods, often mistaken for polka dots, will still have a meaningful presence.
“I’ve never really been into the whole Greek Life scene,” says Horowitz, wincing slightly at hearing his own voice for the first time in days, “so yeah. I didn’t rush. Everyone else did. I enjoy the silence.”
McCall, who’s in his eighth season with Northwestern, has consistently worked hard to limit yards gained and points scored.
One person’s devout library pilgrimages certainly differ from another’s five-day festival of intoxication.
Throughout Thanksgiving dinner, your uncle repeatedly led the conversation back to your fall quarter hookups, asking questions that nobody at the table wanted to hear.
After years of what Turman’s mother referred to as “boring, missionary sex,” she was finally ready to “take off the mom jeans and put on the edible underwear.”
As she packed her bag to return to her rural Wisconsin home, sources report that she confided to a friend that she “feels insanely stupid” at Northwestern.
“I felt that all the running on the football field and high-fiving everyone in sight was just a bit too childish for me. I believe it’s time to focus on more serious things.”